Sleeping Re-Arrangements [for losthunter]

[boldygoing]

It's easy to lose track of the months when you spend your life counting stardates.

Jim sits in one corner of the officer's mess, a padd propped up against his coffee mug so he can read while he eats, going through the last of the daily reports he has to review. Nothing terribly riveting, of course, so his mind can't help but wander a bit, snatches of nearby conversations filtering through the dry monotony that is maintenance logs.

"-happened down in the xenobotany labs yesterday?"

"-call him tomorrow, I've been saving up transmission time-"

"-and the comet's loaded with iron, right? So I say-"

"-can't believe it's almost Halloween already. I wonder if the replicators can make candy corn?"

Jim freezes mid-scroll, his breath catching in his chest, the word Halloween sinking in like a stone thrown into a deep, deep lake, its cold settling into his bones and up his spine. The conversation behind him has already moved on, but he stays, tethered to that single word as it echoes endlessly through the silence in his head.

He's not hungry anymore, but he eats his dinner anyway. Every bite tastes like ash.

* * *

It's been weeks since Zunar came to Hunter's side, providing comfort and companionship as only a kneazle can. It's become routine for him to snuggle up to the human in the evenings, claiming a spot on Hunter's bed for himself before the man even comes to bed, and meowing at him until they're both settled in for the night.

Not tonight.

Zunar sniffs around until he finds Hunter's PINpoint, chirping, and pushes it towards Hunter with a paw. Hey, you. You'll need this.

Comments

[losthunter]

Hunter kneels back for a moment, thinking about the question. "You said before that the bathroom is shared between Spock and yourself. How do I know if he is in there?"

[boldygoing]

"Hmm? Oh. Indicator by the door. Yellow's occupied, blue means it's empty." Jim nods across the room to the small panel next to the shared bathroom's door.

He hesitates a moment, then adds, "He'll probably know you're here, if that's what you're thinking."

[losthunter]

"I had wondered." Hunter admits.

It makes him feel better not to worry about that anymore. And just relax in this decision to stay with Jim.

"Anything else you think I should know about staying in on-board?"

[boldygoing]

Jim's not given a lot of thought to long-term visitation, so he's sure there's more he's forgetting, little things that'll come up as they go along, depending on how long Hunter intends to stay. But there's at least one thing that leaps to the forefront, something more important than any other piece of guidance that he can give to Hunter about living on a starship.

"If there's an emergency while you're here," Jim says, and God he hopes there isn't, "where the lights all go red and an alarm sounds, that's a Red Alert. If that happens, I want you to get yourself out of here. Take Zunar with you and wait for me to call you." On his lap, the kneazle mrows in agreement, ready to protect Hunter while Jim is busy.

Jim leans forward to touch Hunter's face, and musters up a smile. "Shouldn't happen, but... it pays to be ready."

[losthunter]

Hunter intends to stay as long as Jim needs him. He knows it will be an adjustment, but he wants to be where he is needed right now. And that is here.

"Lights going red and an alarm sounding." Hunter can remember that. He smiles down at the kneazle, running his fingers through Zunar's fur for a moment.

He leans into the touch to his face. Still very much someone who enjoys those simple gestures. "You know I will be waiting with worry... right?"

[boldygoing]

"Yeah, I know." No matter how much Jim says he'll be fine, they both know well enough that it's not true. Double that, if there's a real cause for worry. "But I've gotta make the calls to keep the crew safe, and I don't know if I can do that if I don't know you're out of harm's way. We're trained for this, you're not." The silent yet hangs in the air between them, a reminder that it might not always be the case, if Hunter does decide to enlist after all, and be more than just a temporary visitor aboard the Enterprise. But while he is, Jim's number one priority is making sure he's not in danger. No matter what shape that danger takes.

[losthunter]

Hunter frowns. They said that they would be honest with each other. "The thought of you heading into harm's way... when I am fleeing... makes me feel a little useless."

"But I can understand why I can't stay in that situation, until I know what to do." And his eyes tell Jim that he wants to learn. That he wants to be useful.

"I make sure I am safe, so you can concentrate on your crew."

[boldygoing]

"I know."

It's a hard truth to accept, and Jim knows that. But this is part of what it is, to date a starship captain. To date Jim Kirk. It's not an easy road, and Jim would never lie to Hunter and try to tell him otherwise. Not anymore.

[losthunter]

"Is there anything you need tonight?" Hunter strokes his fingers along Jim's arm. It might not be easy to date a starship captain -- but Hunter is in this for the long run. And this experience will be a first glance of what his life might be, as they continue down this road they have taken together.

[boldygoing]

It might be a harsh preview, that's for sure. But Jim is not going to deny Hunter the opportunity to find out firsthand, an irrational part of him still secretly afraid that the other man will come to his senses and walk out. And another selfish part of him really, really hoping that he sticks around.

"No... just you."

[losthunter]

Hunter smiles softly at that. He stands up slightly, so he can wrap his arms around the other man. "That... I can do."