Captain's First LOL [for losthunter]

[boldygoing]

With the restrictions on his food intake finally lifted, and with months to go until the Enterprise is ready to fly again, Jim Kirk has had all the more reasons to visit the Nexus and explore, particularly the markets. Whether it's finding interesting otherworldly seedlings for Sulu, tracking down a source of authentic Vulcan kreyla for Spock, or bringing home volumes of Russian literature for Chekov, there's always something to bring back for somebody.

Jim's been warned about LOLs before. Both through the brochure he picked up the first time he arrived here, and by some Nexus veterans, namely Hunter and Samus. But in the months since he's been visiting the multiverse, he's still never seen the phenomenon, not even once.

And so it's easy to forget for a moment that he has to be cautious.

He's discovered a Jewish cafe on one corner of the commercial district that's offering free samples to passersby, and it's been ages since he's had real, hand-made vorschmack on rye. So he doesn't think twice before accepting one of the samples on offer, and there's nothing to indicate that there's anything in it other than the usual bread, fish, and other typical ingredients he'd expect. At least, not until the woman running the sample cart asks him how he likes it.

Jim fully intends on simply complimenting her on the flavor of the food, but what comes out instead is, "It's good but not as good as my Grandma Ruth used to make." He blinks in confusion. "I don't know why I just said that. I wasn't going to tell you that." And again... he says more than he intended.

"Oh dear," the woman says, looking mournfully at the sample tray. "I used the wrong seasoning again. Sorry about that." And then she whisks the tray away, vanishing into the depths of the cafe with no explanation or any indication that she plans to return.

And only now does Jim remember the warnings he was given.

"Oh shit. This is not good." He doesn't know what the hell it's done to him, aside from making him chattier than he intended to be, but he doesn't want to go home like this. Especially not when he can't be certain there won't be more coming. And there's only one person he knows he can go to for help.

Jim calls up the coordinates for Hunter's apartment, hurrying to get his ass over there, muttering to himself under his breath.

Comments

[boldygoing]

Hunter's picked a good topic. Jim likes talking about things he's learned, and language is no exception. "Mix of both. Vulcan, Andorian, and Russian. I used to be fluent in Hebrew but I'm so out of practice that I can't claim fluency anymore. I know enough Klingon to start a bar fight and enough Tellarite to get a good argument going, and enough Swahili to tell if Uhura's mad at me specifically. I also picked up a trade pidgin when I was working on a cargo freighter as a teenager."

[losthunter]

"No surprise about you knowing Vulcan." Hunter smiles slightly.

"It must be useful to know a bit of those other languages, when you are dealing with those other cultures."

[boldygoing]

"It can be but Uhura knows way more languages than me. That's why she's my communications chief. Universal translator implants are standard-issue so generally language isn't a problem, but with diplomatic missions especially it's usually respectful to speak the language of your host if you can. Plus they're not perfect. English has plenty of words that sound the same but mean different things and it's not unique in that regard, so knowing the language instead of relying on technological translation helps avoid confusion. And it's always a good idea to have a backup if tech fails, not just with language but everything."

[losthunter]

"And depending on what may be the 'cool' words of that generation, some English words don't have a typical definition."

"Do you find that sometimes people in your century get a little dependent on the technology?"

[boldygoing]

"Slang, yeah. Metaphors too. Jokes don't usually translate well either, especially if they're based on puns."

Jim nods in response to the question. "In my opinion, yeah. There's nothing wrong with using technology especially if you know how to fix it when it breaks, but sometimes it's not fixable and if they don't have access to an easy replacement for whatever it was, some people can't cope. Most people just assume that since breakdowns like that are rare that it's not worth preparing for. It's stupid. You should always be ready and able to adapt to the loss of convenience."

[losthunter]

"Is that why you wanted to learn survival techniques?"

[boldygoing]

They're veering back into Tarsus IV territory, but this time Jim is prepared. "I learned because I had to. I discovered some things on my own like how to find a shelter but if I'd known how to make snares I could've caught rats or birds while they still had meat on their bones." He keeps his voice steadier this time, and takes another sip from his wine, as if that would help. "There wasn't any big wild game either but if there had been, I wouldn't have known how to make an effective bow or arrows to hunt with anyway."

[losthunter]

Hunter notes that they are steering back into uncomfortable territory, so he tries to redirect the conversation. "I never experienced the whole camping thing for myself. And my survival instincts are much better suited for the city streets than wildlife."

"But I do enjoy reading about those with survival instincts. Like Robinson Crusoe."

[boldygoing]

"I didn't like that one," Jim admits. "His survival was way too easy and convenient. The Martian was way better. Not entirely scientifically accurate but closer than a lot of novels from that era."

[losthunter]

"They made a movie based off that book, in my dimension."

[boldygoing]

"Really? Add it to the list." Jim smiles slightly.

[losthunter]

"I have at least five lists going..." Hunter teases Jim.

"Would you ever be interested in going camping?"

[boldygoing]

"Sure," Jim answers, and given that he can't lie at the moment, Hunter can be assured that he isn't just agreeing to something he doesn't want to do so that Hunter is happy. "I like camping. It's a good opportunity to practice survival techniques, help's only a communicator call away, and you get to prep ahead of time and bring as many supplies as you need."

[losthunter]

"I didn't have a lot of opportunities to go camping when I was a child... this would be an opportunity for me to learn from you."

[boldygoing]

Jim raises his eyebrows, turning a speculative look on Hunter. "Where do you fall on the sliding scale of luxury camping versus roughing it? Because I could get dropped in a forest with just a knife and a canteen and I'd be fine for at least a week but I'd rather have a little more gear along for the trip."

[losthunter]

"I am up for any challenge. Get me away from the luxury of my life for a while."

[boldygoing]

Jim smiles at him. "Got a destination in mind? I'm a fan of North American natural parks like Yosemite but I'm flexible. I haven't been mountain climbing in years now."

[losthunter]

"Mountain climbing would be awesome. And we can do that in Yosemite."

[boldygoing]

"I don't know when it'll be a good time but I'm up for it whenever it is. Maybe one of these days I'll take you orbital skydiving, too. That was one of my favorite classes at the Academy and the training came in handy my very first day on active duty, so it's a useful skill. For Starfleet anyway."

[losthunter]

"Orbital skydiving? Is that just outside the Earth's atmosphere?"

[boldygoing]

"Depends on what planet you're orbiting but yeah. My first combat dive was Vulcan."

[losthunter]

"That sounds amazing." Hunter smiles.

[boldygoing]

Jim doesn't, at least not a happy smile. "I wish we'd had the time to appreciate the view."

[losthunter]

"Hey... maybe someday you will find a door to a dimension that still has its version of Vulcan. And you can appreciate the view once again."

[boldygoing]

"Maybe, but I don't think we should search for one. Vulcan's gone, and there's no way to bring it back. We can't change the past or fix it back to how it was supposed to be. We have to take what we do still have and make it work, not dwell on the what-could-haves. It's how I deal with not being the same Jim Kirk that Old Spock knew."