boldygoing | Captain's First LOL [for losthunter]

Hunter is not expecting anyone to drop by his apartment today. He has a large drop-cloth put up against the main wall in his art gallery. He also has a large art canvas set up. And is flinging paint at the canvas, to create an abstract piece of art.

When there is a sound at his door, Hunter sets down his art supplies. He is very paint-splattered when he goes to the door, opening it to see Jim outside.

"Jim?"

Jim doesn't look panicked, but he is stressed, and despite what he wants to say, what he says instead is, "You've got paint on your face. Bet it's easier to wash off when you don't have to worry about it getting in your hair."

The comment seemed so unusual for Jim, that Hunter was confused for a moment. He had been expecting some flirtatious greeting. Not a commentary on the paint that had splattered over his skin.

"I was working on a project." He opens the door wider, so that Jim can enter.

Jim is starting to get an idea of what exactly is going on with him, but his train of thought keeps going elsewhere, momentarily overriding what he wants to say about it. "That's one of many things I like about you. You're always productive."

He enters the apartment, and struggles to keep his thoughts on track, shutting out distractions so he can actually tell Hunter what's going on. He deliberately tuns to face away from the studio part of the apartment, so nothing he sees will send his thoughts off on a tangent again. "I think I've been LOLed."

Hunter has to smile slightly at the compliment. It is nice to hear something that Jim likes about him (and that there is many things). But once again, it is very unusual for Jim to speak so frankly.

He closes the door. And notes how Jim is trying to not distract himself.

"Do you know how it happened?"

"Man, you're sexy when you get all focused," Jim says, and while normally he might say something flirty with a smile on his face, his concerned frown hasn't gone away. "There's this Kosher Cafe place giving out free samples. She said she used the wrong seasoning and she didn't say what kind she used or what's wrong with it but now I can't stop saying the first thing that pops into my head."

Hunter smiles again. Another unexpected compliment. He has to note say something that will distract Jim, as much as he wants to flirt back.

"We will get the name of that café and the owner, later. But at least it was caused by food. It will just have to work through your system."

"You came here when you thought something was wrong?"

"The Kosher Cafe is the name of the place," Jim clarifies. "I didn't think it'd be just like my grandma used to make or anything, but I wasn't expecting them to put truth serum in the food either."

He nods when Hunter asks his question. "Of course I came to you. I can't go home like this and I know where you live. Bones can't fix magic and Samus told me it's usually temporary, but I hoped you knew a shortcut." He grimaces at the somewhat callous way his mouth has decided to phrase it all. "Sorry. I can't stop it."

Hunter notes what Jim said about the name of the café. For later, when he can talk to Schön.

"LOLs are usually temporary." Hunter shook his head slightly. "And I don't know any shortcuts."

"If this is some sort of truth serum LOL... you better stay here until it is gone."

He nods again. "Yeah that's what I figured but I'm glad to hear you say it. I hate crashing parties uninvited, but I don't want to accidentally say something classified to strangers or anything. I'm a walking security nightmare right now."

"Maybe if we set you up in a place that has few sensory triggers? Like my bathroom?"

"If I'm gonna be like this for hours or days, I don't want to spend it in your bathroom," Jim says, wishing he could phrase it a little nicer than his mouth has apparently decided the message should be. "I didn't want to say it like that. Too bad I can't just knock myself out until this is over."

"Books and movies might be out of the question." Hunter sits on the couch, patting the seat beside him.

"And we are not going to try to find ways to knock yourself out."

Edited 2017-07-04 04:32 (UTC)

"You're gonna get paint on your couch," Jim says the moment he sees him sit down. Annoyed at himself, he adds, "I know you know that," as he takes a seat next to Hunter.

"I don't like being unconscious anyway," he agrees, but to his alarm, he can't stop his train of thought from continuing down the path of why that is. "I have nightmares almost every time I sleep. I keep remembering being in the warp core. I wasn't going to tell you that."

"The couch is one where I can get paint on it. Or food." Hunter laughs softly. He doesn't mind that Jim is speaking whatever is crossing his thoughts.

His face changes to one of concern when Jim brings up the nightmares. "You weren't going to tell me. Ever?"

Jim looks a little guilty. "I didn't want you to be worried and it's hard to talk about it without mentioning details about what happened. You're a smart guy; you might've figured out I died and that's classified."

If ever he needed proof that it's a bad idea for him to be out among strangers, now is the time. It's bad enough that he just spit out one of Starfleet's best-kept secrets to a civilian, even if that civilian is a friend. Can't put the cat back in the bag once you let it out. So he resists the urge to clamp a hand over his mouth, too late to make a difference. "And now you know anyway. I'm sorry. Don't freak out." He's not sure if he's saying that to Hunter or to himself.

Hunter had known something serious had been kept from him, because it was classified. But out of all the scenarios he had imagined, somehow he never thought it would be something like this.

"You died?" His voice cracks a little.

"Not just a near-death experience... but you actually died?"

Jim isn't prone to panic. But his thoughts are out of his control, and there's nothing he can do about it, and he doesn't know how Hunter is going to take this. He hadn't planned to bring it up, certainly not now.

And he can't stop himself from elaborating on what he's said, not with Hunter asking questions. "I got brought to Sickbay in a bodybag with no vitals so yeah. Bones really did freeze me until he got the serum right to bring me back."

Hunter has to take several deep breaths to collect himself. He really doesn't enjoy hearing that Jim was lost to him, to everyone, for some time. Until Bones was able to bring him back to life.

He wants to ask about the serum. But a part of him feels that would be taking advantage of Jim's situation right now.

He assumes the serum would be the part that is most classified.

"Fuck Jim...." He finally speaks. "No wonder you are having nightmares."

Hunter has to remind himself that there was reasons why this information was kept from him. Starfleet and their classified rules and regulations. Most importantly, he has to remind himself to not let it become a doubt in his mind.

"Are you seeing anyone to get help for the nightmares?" He asks.

Edited 2017-07-04 05:21 (UTC)

Jim would appreciate that Hunter is holding back on the questions if he was allowing himself to think about it, but between the dozen other things he has to think about and the fact that he's unable to stop himself from blurting out the first thing that crosses his mind, it's probably the best move, because he would have a lot to say about the serum.

"No, I hate going to psych counseling, and they'd have to have clearance to know I was dead or there'd be no point. Bones counts but he's busy and I've already put him through enough shit and this would bother him. Samus had radiation poisoning once so I got to talk to her a little about it without it being weird, but I couldn't tell her how bad it really was and I think she got suspicious that I was as fine as I was anyway."

He reaches up to rub at his temples, starting to get a headache from the completely futile strain of trying to keep his thoughts and feelings under wraps.

"Samus is pretty smart. She has likely put it together already." Since both Samus and Hunter are pretty close to Verity, they have been at events together before. Hunter has never really gotten close to the bounty hunter, but he knows her reputation. "She would keep things classified. And would be a good person to talk to."

Hunter takes Jim's hands in his own. "And now that I know, you can talk to me about it. Anytime. I might not be able to relate... but I will listen."

"It's not about trust, it's about duty and regulations and I don't have the authority to decide who else gets to know," Jim says, unable to stop. "I'm glad you're not freaking out about this but can you imagine what the media would do if they got wind of this? They're a bunch of vultures and there'd be an ethical controversy over whether it's right to bring someone back from the dead and Bones might lose his medical license. I lost ninety-six crew and none of them got brought back, just me and it kills me inside to know that I'm alive and they're not just because I'm the captain and Bones is my friend. I know he couldn't have cared for ninety-seven patients all at the same time because it was hard enough work getting me back and keeping me that way but my brain and my heart don't agree and it haunts me."

He winces, hating that he can't stop himself from unloading this on someone who didn't ask for any of this, and squeezes Hunter's hand, trying to anchor himself. "I'm used to dealing with this kind of shit alone and I know I have people I can talk to now but it's hard."

Hunter knows exactly what kind of vultures the media can be. He drops his eyes for a moment. "Yes. I can imagine. My dad owned a media empire."

Jim is being forced to be truthful. Hunter can at least open up about his own experiences. Try to divert the truth spill away from classified material.

"It was why he found a different place for me to live. So I wouldn't be around to cast a 'negative' appearance in his life."

He strokes the top of Jim's hand with his thumb. "I know you are used to dealing with stuff alone. And you are a strong man. But I just worry. I hate the thought of you having nightmares every night."

Edited 2017-07-04 15:13 (UTC)

"What a bastard." Of all the things Jim has said so far without his usual brain-to-mouth filter in place, this one at least is something that he does not regret voicing out loud. "My mom did a shit job of raising me too."

Jim suppresses the shudder that wants to ripple through him, still in control of the rest of his body even if his mouth isn't quite with the program. "I hate it too. I hate that sometimes I can't even get to sleep in the first place because it feels like dying and there's no one there to try and fail to pretend it's okay this time and I can't just call Spock in the middle of the night just because I can't sleep and I don't want to bring up bad memories for him either. I hate that I get flashbacks sometimes from stupid things like lightning storms and drinking alcohol and getting a headache."

Hunter moves closer to Jim, moving his hands so they are on Jim's face. "You can call me. Anytime. I will be there... for whatever you need."

Jim doesn't pull away, resigning himself to the fact that he can't stop talking about this now. "It's bad enough that I'm having trouble sleeping, I don't want to spread it around. I know you don't mind but I still get annoyed at myself for bothering people and I know it's a problem but I haven't had other people to rely on for most of my life and it's hard to change old habits."

Hunter doesn't know what else to say for a moment. Jim is the only person who can ask for help. And it almost alarming to know that if it wasn't for the truth-serum LOL that Jim would never bring up any of these issues. That he would have still tried to deal with them on his own.

"I guess hearing me tell you that I wouldn't be bothered isn't going to help either."

"It wouldn't have, but you know the reasons why it's happening now," Jim answers. "I know in my head that it's not actually bothering people who give a shit about me but like I said, it's hard to break old habits and feelings that I've had since I was a kid. It's not because I don't trust you or that I don't think you care, because I do. It's all me."

Edited 2017-07-04 16:13 (UTC)

Hunter decides the best thing to do right now is just hug Jim. "It sucks that you are only telling me these things because of the LOL."

It's unexpected enough that it shifts Jim's thoughts off his problems and the growing embarrassment that he's been caught keeping secrets from his friends, at least for the moment, and after a moment's surprised hesitation, he lifts his arms to wrap them around Hunter too. "I've never been hugged very much," he says, his voice slightly muffled against Hunter's shoulder. And then, because Hunter spoke, he adds, "I might've told you some of it eventually."

"I am a big hugger when it comes to my friends." Hunter chuckles lightly.

He has to keep himself from asking a question in relation to Jim's statement, since he doesn't want another truth-bomb to be set off.

"Maybe we should have lunch? It might help reduce the effects of the LOL if you get something else into your system."

"I like that about you. I don't care that I've got paint on me now." Fortunately Jim isn't wearing anything that he cares about keeping paint-free.

"Is that how it works?" he asks, as they pull apart from the hug. "I don't ever turn down food when someone offers unless they don't get to eat too."

"One of these days, we are going to get one of those paint kits... for the bedroom... and have a little fun." Hunter chuckles again.

"I'm hoping..." Hunter stands to head to the kitchen. "And I have enough for the both of us to have a light lunch."

"Body paint? Sexy. I'm game. Pretty sure it's not acrylic though. Does this stuff wash off?" Jim asks, raising his eyebrows.

He follows Hunter towards the kitchen, and the way that sentence was worded sparks off a mild worry that Jim normally wouldn't mention. "It's not gonna empty your pantry, right?"

"No. We would be using a special water-based cosmetic paint that is safe to get on the skin." Hunter smiles. "Yes. The acrylic washes off."

"No. My pantry is pretty stocked up right now."

That eases up some of Jim's irrational worries about it. "Good. I don't want to be a pain about it or anything but the idea of making someone else run out of food freaks me out even if it's easy to get more. I keep food stashed in my quarters on the Enterprise even though I'm only three decks away from the officer's mess." He hadn't meant to say that much, but he's starting to get used to the fact that he's not able to censor his thoughts for the immediate future. "I think Bones suspects because he caught me hoarding ration bars in our dorm room back at the Academy but he hasn't said anything."

Edited 2017-07-04 18:00 (UTC)

"Does it concern you that it was something food-related that caused the LOL?" Hunter sets out a few plates. He starts pulling some meats and cheeses out of his fridge.

Jim has to wash his hands before he can participate in preparing lunch, since he has paint on his hands. Normally he'd downplay his fears, but he has no choice right now, and he tries not to let that get to him. "Yeah, it's terrifying." His tone of voice does a much better job of hiding how strongly he feels about this, used to keeping his fears hidden away beneath a well-practiced calm, but he can't avoid the words that reveal the truth. "Food means survival and I can't just avoid it, and there's no way to tell if it's harmless or not until it's too late. Samus did warn me what to watch out for if people were doing it on purpose but this wasn't."

"Even if it was accidental, others need to know about the place, and be wary for the future." Hunter points out. He pulls out a knife and cutting board. Then places both in front of Jim, with some cheese, so he can help in the food preparation.

Jim pitches in, but he hesitates for a moment as a thought occurs. "How do you know if your own food is safe?"

"I purchase from vendors who have their Nexus food services certificate. Or someone that Schön has personally vouched for."

"But..." Hunter frowns for a moment. "Nothing is really safe."

"Having your food tampered with is one of the scariest things I can think of. Wasting food is worse." Which means that, paranoid about the food or not, he's still not going to turn down lunch, and he moves to continue helping to prep the light meal. "I see people do it all the time and it drives me crazy."

"I can relate to that a little." After all, Hunter spent some time on the streets. He remembers so much wasted food just being thrown away. And so many people who were homeless digging through the trash for that food.

"How long did it take before food insecurities were fixed, in your world?"

Jim hates talking about this even more than his nightmares, a much older, deep-seated set of fears and nightmares that've been part of him since he was a kid. But he can't avoid it or sugercoat his answer or even change the subject, compelled to respond, and answer truthfully. "The resupply ship showed up two months after the executions and it was still a month ahead of schedule. Shit. Fuck." He sets down the knife before his hands start to shake a little. And because he can't avoid speaking his thoughts, the next part is muttered to himself, but still audible. "It was thirteen years ago, Kirk, get a fuckin' grip."

Hunter had not meant his question to lead to Jim being forced to answer about his food insecurity experience. He had more wanted to know how long it had taken Earth to correct things, so no one would go hungry anymore.

And he sets down his own knife, so that he can move behind Jim and just hold him.

It is more than upsetting to hear that there had been executions because there had not been enough food to feed everyone.

"Hey... you are allowed to be upset about it."

His question had been ambiguous enough that Jim's first association is with the personal, rather than historical, implications of the question. And once again, it's too late to change his response, his body tense under Hunter's hands.

"He killed half the colony," Jim says, a fact that still strikes him to his heart even though it was years and years ago. "Four thousand people."

"Fuck Jim..." Hunter can not even comprehend experiencing something like that. He leans into the other man, placing his head on the other man's shoulder.

It is very shocking to hear some of the things that Jim has been dealing with privately. That no one else would know.

"You can have a safe-stash of food here, if you want."

Jim can't look at him, since Hunter is behind him, but he does reach up to put his hands on Hunter's, where they're clasped over his chest. There's an odd warmth in his core, a spark against the cold, dark memories of Tarsus IV. "It wouldn't bother you? It bothered Bones."

"No. It wouldn't bother me." Hunter could suggest some places that a safe-stash could be kept.

"As long as it isn't in the art studio, where cross contamination might happen..."

"That's fine. I wouldn't want any of it to get ruined by getting paint or clay or something on it." To him, that'd be as bad as deliberately wasting it.

"Exactly..." Hunter gives Jim another hug. "But if you see a spot that looks like it would work... go ahead and use it."

"It's your home, Hunter, I don't want to hide anything like a squirrel burying acorns for winter or something stupid like that." Jim sighs a little, the glimpse of humor only a brief one. "I know damn well that it's not going to happen again but I worry about it all the time, and I'm not supposed to even let anyone know I was on Tarsus Four in case they ever catch Kodos and I have to testify. There were only nine witnesses to the massacre who survived and witness protection doesn't work if you talk to a counselor about it."

"Careful with that squirrel comment... some Nexus LOLs have been known to turn humans into animals."

Hunter returns to his side of the kitchen counter, to go back to frying up some meat and eggs to go with the cheese.

"Well, this is another one of those incidents where I know about it now, so you have the option of talking to me about it."

"You've got to be shitting me," is Jim's unfiltered, somewhat amused response to the squirrel comment, but at least it's a less depressing thought than the horrible events he's been recalling.

"It was a horrible experience," Jim warns him, able to do that at least instead of just launching into a description of what he went through as a kid, trying to shift his focus to Hunter instead of Tarsus. "I don't think you want to hear it over lunch if you plan on eating it."

Edited 2017-07-04 21:34 (UTC)

"I have heard of it happening. Or the cliche of people becoming their costumes..."

Hunter nods in agreement. "Let us find something else for your motor mouth to focus on right now."

"I have hired a detective to find Austin." Hunter opts for taking about his life.

"That asshole who cursed you?" Jim's hands aren't steady enough yet to continue helping get lunch ready, but he's getting there, and it helps to have something else to occupy his thoughts. "What'd you tell the detective you wanted to find him for?"

"You would be surprised how few questions they ask, when you give them a healthy bonus."

"Yeah, I guess I would be. I don't really get the 'get rich' mentality at all. What the hell does anyone even do with more money than they need? Having more than you can spend is pointless."

"I agree with that mentality. I would rather help others, however I can."

"Hoarding material wealth isn't important to people in my century. Kinda hard to be when we can make precious metals and gemstones on demand. I know a lot of our tech is new or weird to you but your attitude on a lot of things fits right in."

"I guess that is why I spend time at my Nexus apartment, than the one in New York." Hunter notes. He is making an omelet, and looks at Jim to see if he wants any extra toppings in his.

"I have been considering consolidating my New York apartment, and just getting a basic flat, and public art gallery combination. It would make more sense."

Edited 2017-07-04 23:00 (UTC)

Jim's trying to focus on the conversation, so that he doesn't start blurting out three different things at once, so he doesn't quite get the silent question that Hunter's asking him with that look. "You want to turn your home into an art gallery? Is that typical? Wouldn't you have a lot of strangers in your house? I don't know that I'd do that, but it's your apartment." He grimaces a little at the slightly tactless way his mouth decided to say all that. "Sorry. I feel like I should keep apologizing."

"The Foundation has been offering a few different university-level classes, and one of them is art. We have a few talented students... who face challenges of getting their art work displayed, because they don't have a home address."

"My thought was to have the art gallery as a place for them to display their artwork. The flat would be separate and private. Not that I would use it that much." Hunter shrugs. "Right now, I just consider having that other apartment as an unnecessary luxury."

"Do you want anything in your omelet?" He asks the question directly.

"Oh so it'd be for other people's art? That's sweet of you. If you're not really using the space, I don't see why not. If my apartment hadn't gotten flattened by the Vengeance I would've gotten rid of it eventually for the same reason, although if I hadn't had the house to fall back on I don't know where I'd be living while they clean up San Francisco. It's gonna be a couple years before everything gets rebuilt."

Fortunately the omelet question stops him from going too far down that train of thought. "I like ham, cheese, onions, and mushrooms in my omelets but I'll eat absolutely anything, even if I don't like it."

"I don't need my own gallery to exhibit only my art pieces. I have other galleries who are already familiar with my work." Hunter explained.

He cuts up some onions and mushrooms for Jim's omelet. Then just as the eggs get cooked enough to flip it as an entire piece, he adds the cheese on top.

Jim hadn't planned on bringing it up, but Hunter's comment triggers another train of thought, and he can't help but say it out loud. "When Faris and I were in your head, one of the things you were doubting was whether or not your art was going to be remembered by future generations."

Hunter slides Jim's omelet onto a plate. Then turns to him. "Yah... that one was a based on a doubt that still weighs on my mind."

Edited 2017-07-04 23:53 (UTC)

Jim takes the plate, but he's not quite ready to eat yet, not before Hunter's ready to sit at the table with him. He frowns a little. "But if several galleries know your work already, you're getting around. And you sell stuff in the Nexus, so it's not just your universe. Why are you worried about it?"

Hunter is making his omelet with mushrooms, fried up bacon and sausage, and a few green peppers.

"My art work might be hanging in a gallery now... but that doesn't mean it will be hanging there next year. Or in two years. Or in five years."

"Just because my art is being appreciated now... it is no guarantee that it would be worth being kept by future generations."

"The society of New York is so 'what is hot now', not 'lets make a legacy'."

Jim's frown deepens a little. "When we first met, you said that if you got famous, you'd be fine with it, but you weren't staking your future on it... did something change? I don't even know how you'd guarantee a place in the history books through art if you haven't already. Your stuff's good."

Hunter prepares his plate with his omelet. Then pauses to collect his thoughts. "I am not staking my future on getting famous..."

"But after visiting those museums... I just wondered what my legacy would be. If it would be anything at all."

Now that they both have their omelets ready, Jim grabs a pair of forks from the silverware drawer and hands one to Hunter, so they can sit at the table to eat. "I want to have the answer for you but I don't have a clue," he says, just as frank as he's been forced to be since the LOL set in. "Being famous is a lot of work and a lot of trouble and so's the future."

Hunter sits down at the table, across from Jim. "I know that. But I still had my doubts. A few wondering 'what ifs'..."

He pauses for a moment. "If I remember correctly, you voiced your support for my art, just as you had voiced your support for me in general."

"And those doubts are fading... it was just one of the few that had still been there to be caught in that darkness."

"Yeah I did. The way I see it, the future doesn't matter if you don't care about the present first. What matters is the effect you have on other people and how you live your life, because once you're dead you won't know any different." Jim takes a bite of his omelet, and murmurs, "This is good," before he continues, this particular train of thought too strong to derail with his feelings on food.

"I had a lot of regrets while I was dying, but the friends I'd made weren't among them, and part of me was mad that I was gonna be remembered like my dad was, like some kind of larger-than-life fake persona instead of the fucked up person I am. I wasn't thinking about that until after I fixed the warp core and the only thing that mattered to me was making sure everyone else wouldn't die. I wasn't scared until I after knew I'd done that."

Hunter pauses in mid-bite when Jim mentions the main thing that he was mad about, when he knew he was dying.

"I think the thing I love most about our relationship, is knowing that I love you for the real you. The fucked up you. It isn't perfect. And that makes it... real."

"I love that about us too," Jim agrees, giving Hunter a small smile. "There's never been any shortage of people who want to say they've slept with the famous Captain Kirk, or the son of the other famous Captain Kirk, before I was captain. I didn't take all of them up on it. That's not the point. I never had to worry about why you wanted to hang out with me because I'm not famous to you. Or at least I didn't start that way. And I can be friends with my crew but I still have to be the captain to them, but you're not crew so you're not under my authority. I can just be Jim and sometimes I need that."

"I am glad I can be that person who gets to be with just Jim." Hunter gives a big smile. Returning to his meal for a moment.

"And that you know the real me."

Jim takes a few bites while Hunter talks, glad that he's able to listen without his mouth demanding he interrupt with whatever inane thought has crossed his mind. It'd be a shame if this home-cooked omelet got cold due to his inability to shut up.

"I didn't know there was a fake you except what stupid people assume when they see you." By now, he's pretty much given up on apologizing for his phrasing. Hunter hasn't taken any offense so far, and he seems to get that there's nothing Jim can do about considering his words before he speaks, at the moment.

"We met at the right time." Because if it had been 'Kyle' who had been given the door to the Nexus, he would have never bothered with the opportunities awaiting him on the other side.

"When we both needed the other to provide support and understanding."

Jim nods in agreement. "I'm glad I met you. I don't have any other civilian friends right now and it's hard to meet people who don't already have assumptions about me."

"I am sort of glad that I get to take you to one of the clubs in New York now. It is a place where no one will recognize you."

"Not being recognized is severely underrated," Jim sighs, and continues working on his omelet. So far, no indication it's diluting the effect of the LOL, but at least they've gotten him onto a more pleasant topic to ramble about. "It's still a little weird to me that men in dresses is notable in your time though. I know it was like that historically but it's one thing to learn it from a database and another to experience it, even though we haven't actually gotten there yet."

"I am almost finished with my dress. I am actually quite excited about this night."

"I'm hyped too," Jim agrees. "I don't get out much like that anymore. No time to party when you're captaining a starship."

"Have you heard about when you, and the Enterprise, will be sent back on a mission?"

"Still months from now. There's no set date yet. It depends on how fast the repairs and refits go and how long before she passes her stress tests and stuff like that. It's no good to fix a ship without making sure nothing's gonna break right out of the gate. And Samus suggested a few things to change that I submitted to Starfleet's Corps of Engineers so we have to see if those get cleared and how long that will take."

"Oh good. I am glad to hear that she had some suggestions that might make things better."

"Me too. She had some good ideas that hopefully mean we won't suffer the same kind of catastrophic power failure that made it necessary for me to climb into the goddamn warp core in the first place."

Hunter reaches across the table to take Jim's hand in his own again.

"I am glad you are taking her advise."

Jim doesn't want to upset Hunter by bringing it up again and again, but he can't help it. "I don't want to think about it but I can't help it. Sometimes I forget and then something trivial or stupid happens to remind me and then I can't get it out of my head again."

"I don't mind you bringing it up." Maybe it will help Jim a little to be able to talk about these things.

"You sort of have a 'Rudeness' free card tonight."

Hunter tilts his head. "I will just keep a tally, so you can make it up to me later."

"You're gonna have a hell of a tally when I'm done," Jim says, trying not to sound too depressed about it. "I bet you already do. I haven't even gotten to the bad stuff yet."

Hunter has to stop himself from asking. It is likely stuff he doesn't want to know the straight truth about. And stuff that he doesn't want Jim to feel forced into talking about.

"Excellent. I can ask for something really interesting..."

Jim frowns at him. "Interesting like what?"

"Sure put me on the spot."

Hunter laughs. "Like having you cook me a meal. Or do a sexy strip tease. Or just another bike tour. Or even a pleasant surprise."

"It is not like I would ask you do something unpleasant. Or even expect you to do anything you were not comfortable with."

Jim gives him a faintly amused look. "It's not like this is truth or dare. So far it hasn't made me do anything besides talk your ear off. That's not to say that I might not someday do a sexy strip tease when I'm more in the mood, but that'd be my choice."

"Well, I am more than willing to share any truths about my life that you might be interested in. Balance things a little..."

He finishes up with his omelet. It was a good meal. Especially after working on his art project earlier in the day.

Jim's mostly done with his, although he's been eating a little slower - a necessity, since he can't quite shut up long enough to eat more than a bite or two at a time.

"I have been thinking that we know a lot about each other now but we kind of skipped some of the more mundane stuff," he says. "Like what your favorite color is and what kind of culture you claim as yours and that sort of thing."

"That is true. You told me when your birthday was... but not how old you are."

Hunter thinks for a moment. "My favorite color is red. It is a very passionate color. And has lot of tones, to describe different moods."

"And as for the culture I claim as mine... New Yorker is very appropriate. And yes, we consider that a culture of our own."

"But if you are asking about what country I can trace my roots to... that would be England."

Edited 2017-07-05 04:13 (UTC)

"I'm twenty-six," Jim answers, as soon as Hunter mentions that somehow his age had never come up.

"Red's a good color but I like gold better. I might've told you that already." Eh well, can't hurt to say it again.

He finishes the last bite of his omelet as he listens to the rest of Hunter's answer. "I thought New York culture was still pretty diverse, with all the immigrants who came there first."

"An older man. Sexy." It is only one year, but Hunter will still flirt a little.

"You did. That is why I am excited about my gold dress that I have made." Hunter cleans up the plates.

"It is pretty diverse. And even though generations ago, a member of my family immigrated to the States from England, I have been surrounded by a lot of different cultures my entire life. And so I have my own melding pot of things that I think are cool, even if they are not English traditions."

"Wow, I've never been accused of being old before."

"I'm not really that in touch with my own roots," he says, once Hunter explains his outlook on the New York culture he's a part of. "My dad's side of the family has been in North America since the pioneer days but other than the house, there's not much connection there. Mom's family is Jewish."

"Don't worry too much. I have had crushes on much older men."

"And that is what led you to the Jewish food being sold in the Nexus." Hunter nods in understanding.

Jim nods. "Yeah. I don't keep kosher but I'm sure you've noticed that." And, of course, Hunter also knows the reason why Jim might not be inclined to stick to any kind of dietary rules. "I didn't get a bar mitzvah ceremony either but I had bigger things on my mind at the time like trying to not die."

"Do you observe Hanukkah over Christmas?" Hunter is not even sure if traditional holidays that are observed in his dimension would translate over to Jim's dimension.

Normally Jim would stop and consider his answer, trying to figure out how he wants to explain it. But continuing with the theme of the day, he answers without much of a pause to even think about it. "Not exactly. We did both when I was a kid but after I left home, I didn't bother. Not much point in doing either when you're by yourself. I sort of got back into it at the Academy but it's more of a multicultural winter celebration anyway. I was gonna have a seder on the Enterprise this year for anybody else who was interested but then the whole Khan thing happened and I was still in the hospital during Passover."

"Perhaps I can make you a feast of Jewish foods sometime." Hunter smiled.

Jim literally can't help it. "You sure you want me comparing your cooking to my grandma's?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

"I am sure there is no comparison." Hunter chuckles.

"Were you really close to your grandmother?"

"Not really. We only visited my grandparents a couple of times a year and after Tarsus I left home and went wandering for a long time so I didn't go to family gatherings for years. I feel bad about it now but I was too fucked up at the time to care." Jim hadn't wanted to share that much, at least not like that, but he hasn't really talked about this with anyone ever, anyway. "It's not like my mom set a good example. She was barely there when I was growing up so running off when family died was normal to me."

"That sucks that they never worried about you. Or went looking for you. Or your brother."

"They did worry. The galaxy's a big place to find somebody who doesn't want to be found though and I wouldn't have listened if they'd found me. We got back in touch after the news got wind that I'd enlisted. The Kelvin baby joining Starfleet made headlines which was really annoying but it did let them know where to find me."

"I don't think you have ever told me where the Kelvin reference comes from." Hunter points out. Remember Jim, he is not from your world.

Jim remembers, but his train of thought doesn't always include an explanation unless it's prompted, since he can't completely control what he says right now. "Sorry. The Kelvin was the ship my parents were on when Nero first showed up. Technically I should be the 'Medical Shuttle Thirty-Seven' baby since I was born just after evacuation but that's not as catchy. My dad ramming the whole ship into the Narada got way more attention and the ship's name is basically synonymous with the event now."

"Wow..." Hunter has to sit down for a moment. He really never heard these little facts of Jim's birth before.

"When you first mentioned that you were a Kelvin baby, I had thought it was a different last name. Or something."

"Yeah I can see how you'd think that. I wish it was that innocent. I was over two months early too, so that didn't help. It was a perfect shitstorm of a tragedy."

Edited 2017-07-05 15:29 (UTC)

"Two months? A baby born that early these days would likely not make it... even with the medical achievements that have been made."

"There's almost two hundred fifty years of medical advancement between my time and yours," Jim says, unable to phrase it more politely like he wants to. "That's why they had to take my mom out on a medical shuttle and not just the usual kind otherwise I probably wouldn't have made it."

Hunter can't imagine how much Jim had to go through as a child, especially with an inattentive mother and the Kelvin fame.

"I am glad you made it."

"Both times." Hunter refers to Jim's other death experience.

"It was more than just two times but thanks, I'm glad I'm not dead too." And then, because this is where his thoughts go next, "What do you believe happens after you die? Because I don't remember anything."

"That is a question that weighs heavily on many people..."

Hunter sits down. And takes a moment to consider his thoughts. "I prefer to think that the spirit of the person is sent to their happy place. Whatever that may be. If they believe it is Heaven, it would be. If they believe it would be a reunion with other loved ones, it would be."

Jim sits down too, as he knows these are pretty heavy questions. It's something he's been thinking about for weeks, ever since he really began to grasp what had happened to him. "Sorry if this is getting deep. This is the sort of thing I usually keep to myself, or get really drunk before I talk about it."

"I really don't mind answering your questions." It just sucks that Jim is being forced into being truthful, instead of having these conversations of his own free will.

"Do you think a little alcohol would help... or be worse?"

"I don't know if it'd make a difference," Jim answers honestly, the only way he can at the moment. "Is mixing alcohol with LOLs a good idea? I don't think I need it to loosen my tongue, that's for sure."

"You know... I don't think anyone really has done a study on LOLs."

"I can see why. If there's no way to predict what'll cause it and the effects are random and inconsistent, there's no way to have any kind of control or feasible way of manipulating the variables. Spock would have as close to a fit as Vulcans can if he tried to run any experiments about them."

"Once the LOL is gone, will you tell your crew about your experience? Have they been warned about LOLs?"

"I don't know. Bones will get mad if he finds out I hid something like this but he'll probably be mad if he knows it happened to me in the first place. I did give my brochure to Spock so he knows about it." Jim rubs at the back of his head uncertainly. "The thing that bothers me the most about this is I've been trained to resist interrogation and it doesn't matter. I don't mind talking to you and you've taken a lot of this shit really well, all things considered."

"I don't know if you could compare this to an actual interrogation situation..."

"LOLs have that magical effect that no body seems to escape." Hunter will pour them both a glass of wine. It seems appropriate.

"Sure I can," Jim answers, accepting one of the wine glasses. "Thanks. It's kind of like being on sodium thiopental except without the altered consciousness. But truth drugs can be fought or at least resisted and I don't think I've managed to keep a single coherent thought inside my head since this started."

Hunter is about to ask about why Jim is so knowledgeable about truth drugs, when he stops himself. Instead he just shakes his head, with a shy smile.

"It is a good thing I am not some sort of evil genius who would take advantage of the situation."

Jim did say he's been trained to resist interrogation, so Hunter is welcome to speculate on the potentially more benign reasons why Jim might know this from experience.

"Evil, no. Genius, sure." Jim smiles a little at Hunter as he takes a sip of the wine. "There's a reason I came to you instead of trying to weather this by myself. I trust you not to ask me for defense codes or anything like that. Is there anything you're dying to ask? I'd get it if you're tempted and I've already dropped some big deep dark secret bombs on you."

"There are a few questions..." Hunter admits. "But I would rather ask them when you have a choice on your answer. I really don't want you being forced to reveal more things that are classified..."

"And some of my more playful questions might not result in the answer I would hope for." He chuckles.

"Yeah that's a safe bet," Jim agrees. "If I start talking dirty I might not stop anyway."

"And that is the tempting part... you are pretty sexy when you talk dirty. And half of me wonders if there is anything you might desire that might not occur to me."

"It is the small logical part of me that advises caution. Truthfulness when it comes to intimacy sometimes can have drawbacks."

Edited 2017-07-06 04:25 (UTC)

"I don't know what I'll say either so I'm purposefully trying not to think of it right now so if we could change the subject before I start just straight-up quoting classic literature to fill up my head instead that'd be great."

Hunter nods. That is another conversation they can have, at a different time.

"Why not talk about classic literature? Do you have a favorite book? Author?"

Jim's pretty glad that Hunter is proving to be fluent in 'rambling run-on sentences,' since he's been falling into them every so often. "Good choice. I don't have a favorite author exactly but my favorite story when I was a kid was always Treasure Island."

Edited 2017-07-06 04:40 (UTC)

"Yah? What was it about Treasure Island that you enjoyed?"

Jim gives him a lightly amused look. "It's about a kid named Jim, living a boring life in the middle of nowhere, whose dad is dead and he's got nothing going for him, and then he gets to go on an adventure. Saying that it was relatable is kind of an understatement."

"And both Jims got to explore life on a ship." Hunter chuckles.

"Yeah." Jim's smile lessens a little. "I wasn't as big a fan of adventure stories after Tarsus, since my own first time leaving home was a nightmare, so I didn't read it again for years."

"What did you think of the pirates? And the treasure that they hunted?" Hunter wisely tries to redirects Jim's thoughts back onto the book.

[bed]

Hunter's tactic works, for now. "Silver was the most manipulative son of a bitch I'd ever heard of and I could never make up my mind if I liked him or not. The rest of the pirates weren't anything special and I thought they cared way too much about some shiny bits of metal. I learned more about old Earth economies later and it made more sense in context, but I still think the whole idea of hoarding money is kind of dumb. Especially if you're burying it on a deserted island."

"And there were people caught up in the fantasy who believe the money was real, since Kidd was based off a real pirate. And tried to determine what real island would have that left-behind treasure."

He wants to ask if Jim ever played pirate as a child, but decided to keep that question until later.

"One of my favorite pirate movies have a lot of themes based off buried treasure. And adventures on the sea."

"Anything I would've heard of?" Jim asks, sipping from his wine. "I assume you don't mean the Dread Pirate Roberts."

"I don't know..." Hunter goes over to his movie case. There he pulls out a copy of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl and hands the DVD case to Jim.

"This one turned into a franchise. There are five movies in total, to date."

"And there is no Dread Pirate Roberts in any of the films."

Jim takes the case and looks it over with mild interest. The cover art gives no spoilers, and Jim mutters, "Hello, good-looking," when he sees Will and Elizabeth on the cover. "I don't remember seeing this before. I'm interested in watching it but maybe we should save it for sometime when I'm not going to end up talking through the movie."

"That is a good idea, especially since I do have four out of the five that have been released on DVD. We can make it a movie watching marathon."

"Dress up as pirates. Arrr!"

Jim can't help a little laugh at Hunter's enthusiasm. "Is that a thing that people do in your century, dressing up to match the movie? I thought that was mostly a Halloween thing."

"It is a thing. Especially for the franchises that people are fans of. Franchises like Star Wars and Pirates of the Carribbean are among those that people love to get interactive with."

"We even have Sci-Fi conventions, where people go all out."

"I don't think we have those back home. If we do I've never noticed."

"I should take you to one sometime."

"Apparently we should take each other to a lot of things," Jim says, smiling slightly. "I don't know if we'll have time for them all but it gives us something to look forward to. I'm still hoping the Enterprise gets the five-year mission assignment. Starfleet has never done one that long before and I don't know if I deserve it over more experienced captains but I just have to wait and see now."

"A five-year mission assignment? What would it include?"

"Mostly exploration of uncharted space. There's so much out there that we don't know about, phenomena that no one in the Federation's ever seen, cultures we've never recorded or contacted, and the potential for new discoveries and knowledge is practically endless. I'm sure we'll come across our share of dangers but if we let that stop us, we're in the wrong business." Jim has a lot of thoughts on this, and a memory that isn't his tickles at the back of his mind, his own voice in an impassioned speech on the importance of risk. "They used to say that if man could fly, he'd have wings, but he did fly. He discovered he had to." And now that Jim's started quoting, he can't quite seem to stop, the words like an eerie déjà vu to his ears. "Do you wish that the first Apollo mission hadn't reached the moon, or that we hadn't gone on to Mars and then to the nearest star? That's like saying that you wish you still operated with scalpels and sewed up your patients with catgut like your great-great-great-great grandfather used to. I'm in command. I could order this, but I'm not because Doctor McCoy is right in pointing out the enormous danger potential in any contact with life and intelligence as fantastically advanced as this, but I must point out that the possibilities - the potential for knowledge and advancement - is equally great. Risk is our business. That's what this starship is all about. That's why we're aboard her."

He finally stops, looking a little confused and mildly embarrassed. "Sorry, I think that was one of Ambassador Spock's memories." He's pretty sure he already told Hunter he gets fragments of odd memories from the mind-meld he had with the old Vulcan a year ago, so it shouldn't be a big surprise.

Hunter listens patiently has Jim starts quoting the impassioned speech. And nods in understanding when Jim apologizes for it.

"I think I will always be a little concerned about you, when the mission is officially assigned. But that comes naturally with the fact that I love you, and part of that is being concerned."

"But I know it is an opportunity that you have been waiting for. And I will be happy when it officially is announced."

"We still might not get it. It might go to one of the other ships, and we might stay on short runs and survey missions. But if we do, it doesn't mean I won't see you for five years and I'd be happy about that. I'd still have my PINpoint, and with the time difference thing, I wouldn't have to worry about a Red Alert while I'm gone."

Edited 2017-07-07 02:00 (UTC)

Hunter smiles, reaching over to take Jim's hands in his own. "That is good to know. I would hate not seeing you for five years."

Jim sets down his wine glass to let Hunter take up his hands, and smiles a little. "Me too. I'm lucky; I get to take most of my friends with me, but there are still people I'd miss. I don't mind saying goodbye to Earth for a while; I don't really miss places so much as people. And better food."

"I am so going to spoil you with great meals every time you visit." Hunter smiles. And leans in to kiss the top of Jim's fingertips.

"As long as they're guaranteed LOL-free," Jim responds immediately, the first thought that pops into his head.

"I can't guarantee that." Hunter chuckles lightly. "But I always taste-test as a I cook... and if you notice I am acting weird, then we might be dealing with a LOL."

Jim smiles a little. "So what do you like to cook? You do a lot of English food or is that so far back it's not tradition anymore in your family?"

"Pizza. Pasta. Barbecue steak or chicken. Sushi." Hunter lists off a few things that he enjoys cooking. "I never thought of English food."

"You make your own sushi?" Jim asks, a little impressed. "I tried once and I just made a mess. It's a lot easier to just do rice bowls but it doesn't look as nice."

"I do. And I will plan a sushi night now." Hunter smiled. "You can help."

"Maybe we should have another crew dinner, on my side of the multiverse this time," Jim suggests. "It looks like I'm gonna be using the house for a while and Mom's still off on the Columbia so she's not gonna care."

Edited 2017-07-07 03:11 (UTC)

"I would be up for that. I can bring most of the supplies for sushi night."

With the sushi night, the Drag night, the pot luck night... Hunter has to smile at them making plans for the future. It feels good to have someone special in his life to do that with.

Jim smiles too. "Happy's a good look for you."

"Well, you have made me incredibly happy." Hunter knows it is over-the-top romantic to say, and might be considered a little sappy.

"I also put you through a lot of stress," Jim points out, as it crosses his mind.

"You really think that?" Of course he does. Jim is being compelled to tell the truth. "Why?"

"The hospital," Jim answers, as honestly as he's had to be since this all began. "No one could tell you how bad it really was and you still came to visit every day once Spock remembered to message you."

"But you personally didn't cause the stress..."

Hunter pauses to collect his thoughts. "I was concerned. I was worried. I didn't know if you would wake up or not. And the thought of losing you weighed on my thoughts."

"Yeah I know. Bones didn't know if I'd wake up either. Neither did I. And now you know the truth and I saw the look on your face when I told you."

"It was a little shocking to hear that you had actually died." Hunter admits. "But once again... you didn't cause that stress."

"You made it sound like all you do is cause stress in my life. And you don't. I need you to know that."

Jim gives Hunter's hand a squeeze. "I know that too. I know the good outweighs the bad and it was just one time but it still happened and it bothers me even though it's not rational. Would it have been worse if you'd known at the time?"

"If they had told me that you had died?" Hunter assumes that is what Jim is asking. "Yes. Because every night I had left the hospital, I would have been fearful that death was a bigger possibility for you."

"Not knowing... and plus being told about all the medical technology that was helping you... I had faith and hope that you would get better. That death was not even a possibilities."

"That's actually comforting to hear," Jim admits. "Is that fucked up? I regret that we had to keep you in the dark but if it helped you cope then I'm glad it had some good come out of it."

"No. It is not fucked up. But it still sucks that some truths were kept from both of us, even after you woke up."

"I hadn't thought about it that way but you're right. I'm still a bit mad at Bones but I get it and he made the right choice not telling me about San Francisco."

"I get it... sometimes a truth has to be kept from someone. And there were classified reasons behind the truths you have told me tonight."

"So I guess that is why I don't feel mad or upset at you. Just upset at the situation that made those truths a secret in the first place."

Jim can agree with that. "Me too." He sighs a little. "Sorry to keep bringing it up but I think about it a lot."

"You can bring it up anytime." Hunter reminds Jim.

"What else can I do to help distract your mind right now?"

"Not sure. Mundane conversation's been working okay so far but I don't want to bore you either."

"You have not been boring me..."

Hunter takes a moment to consider some options for conversation. "Do you have any special talents?"

"If you mean magic or superpowers then no, but I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue," Jim says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "I have an Elo rating of twenty-four hundred; that's a chess thing. Master rank. I taught myself a lot of archaic survival techniques and I was top of my class at the Academy in Survival Strategies. I can speak three other languages besides English fluently enough to hold a conversation and I know a few bits of a number of others."

Hunter chuckles at the mention of Jim being able to tie a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue. He would comment about how talented of a tongue Jim has... but saves that until later when the LOL has gone away.

"Are they Earth languages? Or are you skilled with an alien language?"

Hunter's picked a good topic. Jim likes talking about things he's learned, and language is no exception. "Mix of both. Vulcan, Andorian, and Russian. I used to be fluent in Hebrew but I'm so out of practice that I can't claim fluency anymore. I know enough Klingon to start a bar fight and enough Tellarite to get a good argument going, and enough Swahili to tell if Uhura's mad at me specifically. I also picked up a trade pidgin when I was working on a cargo freighter as a teenager."

"No surprise about you knowing Vulcan." Hunter smiles slightly.

"It must be useful to know a bit of those other languages, when you are dealing with those other cultures."

"It can be but Uhura knows way more languages than me. That's why she's my communications chief. Universal translator implants are standard-issue so generally language isn't a problem, but with diplomatic missions especially it's usually respectful to speak the language of your host if you can. Plus they're not perfect. English has plenty of words that sound the same but mean different things and it's not unique in that regard, so knowing the language instead of relying on technological translation helps avoid confusion. And it's always a good idea to have a backup if tech fails, not just with language but everything."

"And depending on what may be the 'cool' words of that generation, some English words don't have a typical definition."

"Do you find that sometimes people in your century get a little dependent on the technology?"

"Slang, yeah. Metaphors too. Jokes don't usually translate well either, especially if they're based on puns."

Jim nods in response to the question. "In my opinion, yeah. There's nothing wrong with using technology especially if you know how to fix it when it breaks, but sometimes it's not fixable and if they don't have access to an easy replacement for whatever it was, some people can't cope. Most people just assume that since breakdowns like that are rare that it's not worth preparing for. It's stupid. You should always be ready and able to adapt to the loss of convenience."

"Is that why you wanted to learn survival techniques?"

They're veering back into Tarsus IV territory, but this time Jim is prepared. "I learned because I had to. I discovered some things on my own like how to find a shelter but if I'd known how to make snares I could've caught rats or birds while they still had meat on their bones." He keeps his voice steadier this time, and takes another sip from his wine, as if that would help. "There wasn't any big wild game either but if there had been, I wouldn't have known how to make an effective bow or arrows to hunt with anyway."

Hunter notes that they are steering back into uncomfortable territory, so he tries to redirect the conversation. "I never experienced the whole camping thing for myself. And my survival instincts are much better suited for the city streets than wildlife."

"But I do enjoy reading about those with survival instincts. Like Robinson Crusoe."

"I didn't like that one," Jim admits. "His survival was way too easy and convenient. The Martian was way better. Not entirely scientifically accurate but closer than a lot of novels from that era."

"They made a movie based off that book, in my dimension."

"Really? Add it to the list." Jim smiles slightly.

"I have at least five lists going..." Hunter teases Jim.

"Would you ever be interested in going camping?"

"Sure," Jim answers, and given that he can't lie at the moment, Hunter can be assured that he isn't just agreeing to something he doesn't want to do so that Hunter is happy. "I like camping. It's a good opportunity to practice survival techniques, help's only a communicator call away, and you get to prep ahead of time and bring as many supplies as you need."

"I didn't have a lot of opportunities to go camping when I was a child... this would be an opportunity for me to learn from you."

Jim raises his eyebrows, turning a speculative look on Hunter. "Where do you fall on the sliding scale of luxury camping versus roughing it? Because I could get dropped in a forest with just a knife and a canteen and I'd be fine for at least a week but I'd rather have a little more gear along for the trip."

"I am up for any challenge. Get me away from the luxury of my life for a while."

Jim smiles at him. "Got a destination in mind? I'm a fan of North American natural parks like Yosemite but I'm flexible. I haven't been mountain climbing in years now."

"Mountain climbing would be awesome. And we can do that in Yosemite."

"I don't know when it'll be a good time but I'm up for it whenever it is. Maybe one of these days I'll take you orbital skydiving, too. That was one of my favorite classes at the Academy and the training came in handy my very first day on active duty, so it's a useful skill. For Starfleet anyway."

"Orbital skydiving? Is that just outside the Earth's atmosphere?"

"Depends on what planet you're orbiting but yeah. My first combat dive was Vulcan."

"That sounds amazing." Hunter smiles.

Jim doesn't, at least not a happy smile. "I wish we'd had the time to appreciate the view."

"Hey... maybe someday you will find a door to a dimension that still has its version of Vulcan. And you can appreciate the view once again."

"Maybe, but I don't think we should search for one. Vulcan's gone, and there's no way to bring it back. We can't change the past or fix it back to how it was supposed to be. We have to take what we do still have and make it work, not dwell on the what-could-haves. It's how I deal with not being the same Jim Kirk that Old Spock knew."

"That is very good advice." And helps Hunter put to rest the last few what-could-haves that still rest in his heart. He is almost completely healed of the wounds that used to be there.

"Tell me about the Old Spock."

There's so much that Jim could say about Ambassador Spock, but he starts with the first thoughts that come to mind. "He's from twenty-three eighty-seven, so he's a hundred fifty-eight years old right now, give or take. He's got a better sense of humor than my first officer and he's not afraid to be act more human either but I also know how bad the loss of Vulcan hurt him. We don't talk much because it's a bit weird but we do stay in touch a bit. It's gotta be weird for him too, seeing all of us so young when he outlived us all."

"I can't imagine how weird that would be for him." Hunter notes.

"Why did he select to act as an Ambassador?"

"His dad was one. Is. Was. Time travel's confusing - his father died, Spock's dad is still around." Jim makes a face at the tense confusion. "After we all died and he retired from Starfleet, he wanted to work towards Reunification between Vulcan and Romulus. They used to be the same people a long time ago and split up when Surak started preaching logic and controlling emotion. The Romulans didn't want to do that, so they left and found their own planet, but everyone who decided that is long dead so he wanted to try to bring them back together."

"Is he still trying to do that, even now he is here in your present?"

Jim shakes his head. "No, he's too busy trying to help out with the new Vulcan colony. There used to be six billion Vulcans in the galaxy, now there's only about ten thousand. The survivors need him more, and since a Romulan was responsible for destroying the planet, there aren't many people who trust them enough for any kind of Reunification talks. Doesn't matter that he was a rogue agent."

"Sounds like he is in the right place, for those who need him most."

Hunter sort of wishes he knew how long the truth LOL will last for Jim. He is running out of conversation points, where the undiluted truth might not be the best scenario. And he doesn't want Jim to feel bored. Or restless.

"You have a lot of good people in your life."

Jim smiles at him a little. "Yeah, I do. You're one of them." He rubs at the back of his neck. "I'm starting to get a headache. You mind if I lie down for a bit?"

[Been looking for a good way to ease him out of it, so I figure a nap is a good timeskip point. ;) ]

"Not at all. Go ahead and use my bed, if you want. I am going to finish up on my painting project."

[sweet. timeskip point would be good]

"I will, thanks."

Jim retreats to the bedroom, and Hunter might hear him muttering to himself for a little while. It tapers off after about a half an hour as he falls asleep, quiet for the first time in hours.

When he wakes some time later, Jim is briefly disoriented, having forgotten where he was and why, though only for a moment. His headache is gone, and to his mild surprise, none of those thoughts feel compelled to leap from his mouth like they have been since the LOL began. This had better be over, he thinks, and is pleased when that doesn't become vocal either.

By the time Jim wakes up, Hunter's painting is complete. He is cleaning up around the art studio, wiping off paint that missed the drop clothes that he had set up for protection. There is not a lot of spots where paint splattered. He is saving the paint-splattered canvas too -- letting it dry into its own art piece.

Something delicious smelling is cooking in the oven. The smells of melted cheese might drift over to where Jim lays in his bed.

Hunter is humming to himself, as he cleans the last of his art brushes, and his own hands. He must have taken a shower too, because there are no signs of paint on his face or body anymore.

Huh. Food smells are always something that catch Jim's attention, and he rolls out of bed, running a hand through his hair, trying to tame his rather impressive bedhead. But before investigating, he retreats to the bathroom for a minute for the usual reasons as well as to splash a little water on his face.

He leaves his boots off for the moment, his footsteps all the quieter for it as he moves out into the main living area of the apartment. He catches sight of Hunter in short order, but doesn't say anything right away, just enjoying the fact that his appreciative running commentary is staying put in his head where it belongs this time, watching the man at work.

Hunter is so caught up in his work, that he didn't hear Jim in the washroom. And is currently unaware of Jim standing in the main living area of the apartment, watching him.

There is a little radio in the art studio, that has been playing music as he cleaned. Happy comes on the radio, and Hunter just starts to naturally dance along with the music. Still cleaning as he dances.

Though Jim is enjoying his ability to keep his mouth shut, it's his own choice this time to speak up, his voice teasing. "So that's what they mean by 'dance like no one's watching.'"

Hunter jumps a little, hearing that voice behind him. He turns, blushing deeply at the comment. "It helps to make the cleaning seem to go by quicker."

He grins in response, and shrugs. "Hey, whatever works." The look on his face says he probably has more comments he's not sharing, which hasn't been the case since his unannounced arrival at Hunter's apartment.

Hunter tilts his head, and waited for a moment to see if Jim will start rambling off his thoughts. And he doesn't.

Hunter smiles. "No more LOL?"

"Apparently not," Jim agrees, a relieved look crossing his face. "No more headache, either."

"Well that is a good thing, on both accounts." Hunter comes over to where Jim is standing, and hugs him.

Jim hugs him back warmly, gratefully. "Thanks for putting up with all that. I was driving myself crazy; I don't know how you stayed sane." He's partly joking, but his gratitude is sincere.

"I just kept reminding myself that you were most likely panicking on the inside, and just kept calm so that you could stay calm."

"Well it worked as well as it could've." Jim releases Hunter from the hug, smiling at him. "I think I owe you one."

"Just one..." Hunter teases Jim slightly.

"I have a lasagna cooking for supper." He notes.

"Okay, a few," Jim concedes.

"Is that what that is? It smells pretty good. How long was I out?" He feels fairly rested, so it must have been more than just a short nap. And Hunter has found time not only to finish his painting and clean up, but apparently make a lasagna.

"Two and a half hours." Hunter felt that Jim needed the rest, so hadn't disturbed him.

"Huh." Jim is mildly surprised that he slept that long without his rest being disturbed by uneasy dreams. Maybe the trauma of his ordeal is finally starting to fade into the protective fog of memory. "Guess I needed that more than I thought. Or your bed is secretly enchanted," he adds with a small grin.

"I finally got around to removing that annoying pea." Hunter makes a fairy tale reference. "Makes it easier to sleep."

"And I thought once you had awoke, that you would want something to eat."

"I appreciate that. Thanks." Jim is not the type of person to do the 'oh you shouldn't have' thing when people offer him food. Other things, sure, but never a meal.

"You know, a lot of people would've taken advantage of a situation like that. You really are a great guy, Hunter." He'd hoped he was making the right choice in coming here, and now more than ever he knows that he was right.

"I could never take advantage of you..." Hunter points out. "There were a few questions that I had wanted to ask, but I didn't want you to feel forced into answering any of those questions."

"You chose your words pretty carefully," Jim agrees. "It was like the world's longest word association game and I've got a lot of tripmines in there." He figures it's an apt enough metaphor, as one usually doesn't see such explosives until they've been stepped on, and getting away without a big boom is a delicate exercise to say the least.

"I still set off a few of those tripmines, accidently." Hunter leans against the counter for a moment.

"It really sucks that you were forced to reveal classified details. Even though it did lead to me getting to know you better."

To know that Jim has nightmares and why. To know why he is so careful around food. To know the things that Jim sometimes just can't stop thinking about.

"You did, but I honestly don't think you could've avoided triggering at least one," Jim tells him, moving to lean against the counter too at Hunter's side, an unspoken gesture of support. He wouldn't be surprised if Hunter is upset about it, and Jim knows a thing or two about blaming yourself for something you couldn't avoid doing.

And he understands the guilt about unintentionally prying secrets out of someone, too. "If it helps, you're not the first. I had a talk with Samus after I got out of the hospital, gave her the cover story about what happened, and she still figured out part of the classified bits I wasn't telling her in about thirty seconds."

Hunter wraps his arm around Jim's waist, when Jim leans against the counter at his side. And nods slightly. "I am glad you felt safe enough to come to me, despite what was said."

He chuckles. "That sounds like Samus."

Jim reciprocates the gesture only once Hunter makes the first move, subconsciously testing the waters to make sure they're okay. Yeah, Hunter said that everything is fine between them, but Jim needs to reassure himself that it was sincere, not just something said to calm down a panicking friend.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with my baggage on such short notice, but I'm kind of glad it was you. I'm pretty sure I don't have to get you to sign a nondisclosure agreement, right?"

Judging by the fact that Hunter has tilted his head to lean against Jim and keep him close -- they are okay. In fact, Hunter feels even closer to Jim than before. It was a lot of baggage to deal with. But nothing that would make Hunter want to end what they have.

"I am sure we can create our own nondisclosure agreement." He kisses the top of Jim's head affectionately.

Jim appreciates the gesture, and lightly leans into the touch. "Most of what I said is okay to repeat, but the death thing should probably be kept between you, me, and probably Bones. Maybe the senior crew. Most of the rest of the crew know the cost I paid to save the ship, but they probably shouldn't know that you know. As for Tarsus..." He makes a conscious effort to keep his voice steady, and clears his throat. "Not even Bones knows about that."

"I have noticed that 'we can't tell him' look sometimes, and I bet it is about the death thing. And if you decide to tell Bones or the senior crew about the dangers of LOLs, we can at least use that example of something you had to say, because you couldn't help speaking the truth."

Hunter squeezes his grasp a little tighter when Jim clears his throat. "I promise you Jim, that stays between you and me. Until you say something else."

[bed]

"Yeah, it is," Jim confirms. "There are some other details about Starfleet internal affairs that I can't talk about, but it's not about me." He knows that Hunter will understand and be okay with that, so he's not worried about Hunter's reaction to finding out there are more secrets being withheld.

"I know. I trust you not to talk about it." The captain tightens his grip slightly on Hunter's hand, both seeking and giving support. "With the security concerns... I've had to keep it to myself for years. I've never talked about it with anyone, not even a counselor."

Edited 2017-07-08 06:34 (UTC)

"I figured there were other details that were classified. It was one of the reasons I tried to phrase my questioning carefully."

Hunter pulls Jim close to him with his free hand. "That really sucks, Jim."

"Yeah," Jim agrees, accepting the hug.

Once they pull apart a little, he adds, "Maybe we should save that conversation for another time... I think I've dumped a lot on you for one day."

"Supper will be ready in another ten minutes anyway." Hunter agrees with Jim's suggestion.

"And then if you feel up for it, we can watch a movie."

"I'd like that. I'd be nice to hear somebody else talking for a while." At the very least, Jim can have a little sense of humor about this. There were some ugly secrets dragged out into the open, but not everything that came out of his rambling half of the conversation was bad.

"We will watch The Martian, see if it compares to the book at all." Hunter gets a pair of oven mitts, so he can pull out the lasagna and place it on the counter.

"That sounds great. I'd suggest the pirates series, but if it's five movies long I don't think we have the time today." Another thing to set aside for later among many.

"Exactly my thoughts."

Hunter serves them both a plate of lasagna and some Caesar salad, and sets the plates on the table. "We can do that on another day."

"As well as camping and a dozen other things," Jim says, lightly teasing. "You've really never done anything like that?"

"I like that we are planning future dates today." Hunter smiles softly.

He shakes his head, slightly. "My father never did any of those typical father-son traditions. No throwing the ball together. No camping. Even a supper together was a rare event."

Jim shrugs, digging into his meal. "I didn't have a dad to any of that with either. I did most of my camping after I left home." He prefers 'left' over 'ran away,' since the latter sounds more impulsive and childish to him. He was a child at the time, of course, but there was nothing impulsive or petty about his decision to leave.

"And see, for me, I know how to survive in a city setting, because of being homeless after I left home."

"But camping is a completely different thing than that..."

"I guess that depends on how you define camping. I spent my fair share of nights under a bridge somewhere too. You're right though, cities are easier. It's really all about where your resources are."

Edited 2017-07-08 16:51 (UTC)

"You know, my first sexual experience was a man was after I had left home. I must have been 20 at the time." Hunter had purposely avoided talking about sexual experiences when Jim was affected by the truth LOL. He didn't want Jim to feel compelled to start listing his experiences.

Jim pauses before responding to that, because while the default assumption is that everything was voluntary and consensual, Hunter didn't specifically say that it was. He turns towards Hunter a little more, letting his body language speak for itself, showing that the other man has his attention. "Yeah?"

"When I was living with my dad, I had plenty of girlfriends. And a few one-night flings with a few of those girls."

"It never made me happy, since I felt like I was expected to be someone I wasn't."

Hunter smiles softly. "But my first time with a man was a completely different experience. Liberating almost. And he was very supportive and kind."

Edited 2017-07-08 17:07 (UTC)

Jim relaxes slightly once it's clear that Hunter's sharing a good experience, and he smiles a little. "Sounds like he made quite the impression on you."

Hunter notes the body language difference in Jim. And since Jim doesn't have to share every thought any more, Hunter has to figure out the reason of those movements all on his own.

"I was still struggling with accepting my new appearance at that time. He helped me feel handsome and sexy."

He's tempted to say 'good, because you are handsome and sexy,' but he doesn't want to trivialize Hunter's valid fears and doubts over his appearance that he'd had back then. "Do you still stay in touch at all?"

Hunter pauses for a moment. Playing for his food as he composes his thoughts.

"He died. Drug overdose."

Jim figures out his misstep even before Hunter answers. He's had too much death in his own life experiences not to recognize that reaction, and he moves his hand to touch Hunter's. "Sorry to hear that."

Hunter entwines his fingers in Jim's hand. Grateful for the gesture.

"There are so many people who struggle with drugs. Which is why the Foundation has counsellors. We even have a program where if they absolutely need their addiction, they can come to us and get a untainted version. So many street drugs are laced with things that make them more dangerous."

Jim takes his cues from Hunter, taking note that he's more comfortable talking about the good that they're doing than the bad things that make it necessary. "Tell me more about this Foundation."

"I created the Foundation after I gained the legal rights to a trust fund that my mother had left for me."

"Basically, it is a place that gives people a 'hand-up' instead of a 'hand-out'. It offers many different things so that someone who wants to get off the streets, or get clean, can learn how to do that. And regain their independence."

Jim doesn't quite understand all of that - he doesn't know what a trust fund is, or what Hunter means by 'get clean' (instead assuming it has something to do with bathing facilities), or what the difference between a hand-up and a hand-out are. But he does get the gist of what Hunter is saying, and that's enough. "I hope there are a lot of success stories coming out of it. Your economy and job market's a lot more unforgiving than the one I know."

Hunter notes some of the confusing on Jim's face. And he smiles softly.

"Is there any part of my statement that you would like me to clarify?"

He smiles a little too. "Remember how we talked about slang not translating sometimes? I've never heard of a trust fund before."

"Basically, a trust fund is a large amount of money that someone sets aside for their child. Or for other trustee, like a charity or non-profit organization."

"In my timeline, when there are divisions between the wealthy and the poor, there are many wealthy families who look for things like trust funds, where they don't have to pay taxes on the money in that account."

"And the money gains interest and keeps growing, until the trustee can claim it. My mother put all of her assets into that trust fund, before she died, so that I could have it when I was old enough."

Knowing what he does about older Earth economies, Jim isn't terribly surprised to hear of such extensive wealth hoarding. "So it's another way to pass on the family fortune?"

"Basically. Most trust fund children are horribly spoiled."

"And that was almost me..." Hunter notes softly.

"Sounds like you put it to good use. Probably not what your parents had in mind, but it's your money and your life."

"Well since my mother died when I was young, I have no idea of what she had in mind for my future." Hunter notes softly.

Jim gives him a sympathetic look. Growing up without one parent is an experience they share, even though their lives have been very different. "Were you old enough to remember her at all?"

"Shadows... I have a painting of her, as much of my memory will allow." It is a beautiful portrait that actually hangs in Hunter's bedroom. The portrait itself is a profile of a woman, stylized with rose petals.

"I'm glad you have that." Jim never met his father, so he doesn't even have that little. He'd been way, way too young to remember hearing his voice either, all of two minutes after being born.

"Did your mother keep any pictures of him?" Hunter asks softly.

He nods. "Yeah, there's some holos around the house, and I've seen photos in textbooks and at the annual Remembrance Ceremony, so it's not like I've never seen him before. But it's like... when you see a picture of someone from history. There's no emotional connection to someone you never knew."

"My dad never kept any photos of my mom. That is why my portrait is only a silhouette." Hunter explains his question.

"I'm sorry you don't have that emotional connection."

Jim gives Hunter's hand a light squeeze. "We're a hell of a pair, aren't we?" Opposites in many ways - different parents lost at a young age, different upbringing, different careers and talents - but somehow closer because of it, and the similarities they still share despite those differences.

"Yes. A pair..." Hunter likes the sound of the word, even though all of the challenges in their lives. And he kisses Jim's hands.

Jim hopes that Hunter will still feel that way, once they have the now-inevitable conversation about what really happened on Tarsus IV. For now, he lets himself sit in the moment, appreciating and reciprocating the support that Hunter has shown for him so far.

"You're a pretty good cook, too," he adds. "Much better than the synthesizers make."

Hunter starts cleaning up the plates and chuckles lightly. "I get it. You love me for my good looks, great sexual abilities, and food preparation abilities."

"Don't forget 'well read,'" Jim reminds him, getting up to help clean up in the kitchen. He may be a guest, but he was technically an uninvited one, and Hunter's done a lot for him today.

"Books were my first true love." Hunter chuckles again. He can tell that something is still weighing on Jim's mind. And doesn't mind distracting him once again. At least until they can start the movie, and have it be the distraction.

"Mine too," Jim agrees. He needs the distraction less now than he did when he was still under the effects of the LOL, but he is not going to turn down conversation either. "What's your favorite? I kind of skipped past that earlier."

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Hunter answers immediately. "It is a science fiction comedy."

He takes a moment to think over the book itself. "But since it does deal with aliens who are violent, and planets being destroyed... you might want to wait a little before reading it."

Jim gives an odd, slightly confused look. "It's a comedy, though?"

"It has a lot of comedic elements. But just the right mix of drama and conflict to make the story interesting."

"So why do you think I should wait?" That's the part that's tripping him up at the moment. If a story is primarily a comedy, it stands to reason that it isn't going to be traumatizing, probably.

"Call me an over-protective and concerned lover." Hunter shrugs. He puts up in a 'give up' gesture. "It is a great book. I can lend you mine."

Jim hasn't had many over-protective people in his life, not besides McCoy, really. It's kind of endearing. "Hey, if I can't get into it, I can always stop reading. That's one of the benefits books have over real life."

Hunter would protect Jim in a lot of situations. They have not faced a situation where his overprotective 'Beast' self has emerged... so far.

"One more of my books being borrowed by my 'Beauty'. Whatever will I do?" Hunter puts the left-over lasagna in a Tupperware container for another night. Then with the kitchen clean, heads over to the living room to start up the movie.

Jim chuckles at Hunter's lament. "Hey, you're the one who offered." While Hunter gets the DVD set up, Jim takes a moment to look over the rest of the movies on the shelf. He doesn't recognize most of them, of course, but he's always curious.

"I did. And I will always offer you a loan of any of my books."

Hunter has a very eclectic variety of movies that belong in his shelf. A lot of them are old classics, but many are new releases, and there are several that fall into either the romantic-comedy or sci-fiction adventure category."

Jim does pull a few DVDs off the shelf momentarily to read the backs of the cases, now that Hunter's shown him that's where to find the plot summary, and places them back where he found them once he's done.

"I'll have to go through some of my more contemporary novels and see if I have anything that would make sense to you without too much context," he says as he joins Hunter on the couch, ready to watch the film.

"I trust your recommendations. Give me anything. And like you said, if I can't get into it, I will just stop reading."

Hunter leans close to Jim, once the other man joins him on the couch.

[I have not seen The Martian, so we could lead into a scene-ending point at any time]

"Sounds good to me," Jim agrees, and settles in to enjoy the film.

[I have been looking for a good end point and this looks pretty good to me. :D I do recommend watching The Martian though!]

[This was a great thread. I enjoyed all of the truthbombs]

[I did too. :D Poor boys though. Hunter did a fantastic job handling truthy!Jim.]

[He kept from freaking out too badly. And some inspiration for other paint projects]

[Yay for inspiration, even if there was bad memories behind it. :) Now I have to ponder when Jim will choose to tell the whole story.]

[I am glad to hear that Jim is thinking about it]

[Psychologically he really does need to talk about it with somebody so I'm excited to get him to work through it, now that I've made it so he can't really ignore it anymore. It will be a hard conversation for everyone involved.]

[I am glad that he has Hunter to talk to. And as an evil mun, I do enjoy a little drama and conflict every now and then]

[Me too, hehe. Fluff is fun but we've got to have drama to spice it up.]

[I would love sometime to have a scene where some of Hunter's more darker traits are played off.]

[Me too. Caught my attention when you mentioned the 'Beast' part of him. What's that about?]

[Well, Hunter does have some over-protective traits that were showcased in Beastly, that I still feel he has. Especially with his friends. If he ever gets into a situation, where he has to get physical to get his point across, that is when those darker traits would be showcased. When he gets angry -- he sometimes gets caught up in those feelings]

[I haven't seen his canon so I wasn't sure if he had some other magical/supernatural thing going on there or not, especially since April's vampire nature is referred to as her Beast as well. Thanks for clarifying.]

[No problems. No other magical/supernatural things going on for Hunter. Just good ol' fashioned darker emotions]

[We will have to keep an eye out for a good opportunity to make use of that then. :)]

[Sounds good. Any ideas for new plots for these two?]

[We do have a few new options as of this thread, with the camping and the pirates thing, though I feel camping should wait a bit as Jim is just beginning his time teaching Tactics at the Academy about this time, and he'd rather go camping longer than just a weekend. And of course we will eventually do the Tarsus thread, once I figure out the best way to do it. It just seems a little awkward IC to set a specific date to talk about it rather than have it come up more organically.

Other than that, no specific ideas at this time. Just as a heads up, tomorrow is my regular Dungeons and Dragons night so I will be gone from early afternoon to late evening at least. So there is time to brainstorm.]

[I have watched all the Pirates movies, so could do that thread at any time. I have no problems waiting for the camping thread. Or just waiting a few days to RP, since we have the Drag Night thread to distract ourselves with right now.

And good idea to let the Tarsus conversation happen organically.

I am still enjoying my holidays at moms. So plenty of time]

[I've seen the first four but not the new one. We can certainly do that one soonish. Drag Night is a good thread to do in the meantime.

Glad to hear you are enjoying your time off. :D]

[It wouldn't make sense for Hunter to have the new one on DVD yet anyway. So the final installment could be a treat for another time.]

[Sounds good. Check in with you later]

[That's what I figured. :)

Sounds good to me too. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!]

Captain's First LOL [for losthunter]

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