James Tiberius Kirk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
boldygoing) wrote2035-05-18 02:27 pm
boldygoing) wrote2035-05-18 02:27 pm
Entry tags:
[IC] Voicemail
Captain James Tiberius Kirk, USS Enterprise, is currently unavailable.
Record message? Y/N
Captain James Tiberius Kirk, USS Enterprise, is currently unavailable.
Record message? Y/N
Jim's eyebrows drift up, unsure where this is going. "The pottery room, huh? I didn't know you could work with clay one-handed."
"I can't. But tonight is not about me..."
"My gift is to teach you the art of Kintsukuroi." Hunter leads Jim into his new pottery studio. One of the new things about his renovated apartment.
He gestures to a table of pottery pieces. Some belonged to pottery that got destroyed when Bellatrix had attacked the apartment. Others belonged to pieces that got broken after being taken out of the kiln.
"It's the Japanese art of repaired pottery."
"My gift is to teach you the art of Kintsukuroi." Hunter leads Jim into his new pottery studio. One of the new things about his renovated apartment.
He gestures to a table of pottery pieces. Some belonged to pottery that got destroyed when Bellatrix had attacked the apartment. Others belonged to pieces that got broken after being taken out of the kiln.
"It's the Japanese art of repaired pottery."
Jim had thought they had disposed of all the damaged artwork, so seeing those pieces is a bit of a surprise, and he hesitates, uncertain what Hunter intends here. He frowns a little, unfamiliar with the art style that the other man has mentioned.
"But... they're broken. Would it be easier to just... get new ones?"
"But... they're broken. Would it be easier to just... get new ones?"
Hunter chuckles lightly at the question. He grabs two pottery aprons, throwing his on untied. And then handing Jim the second one.
"Here let me show you..."
"We are going to use a gold liquid to create a new piece of pottery, from these broken pieces. These new pottery pieces are going to become more beautiful... having been broken." Hunter explains.
He is able to start the process one-handed, though it is difficult and slow-going. But since he wants to show Jim the process, going slow is fine with him.
"The story is... there was a bowl that was much loved by a military ruler. One day during a gathering, a servant accidentally dropped the bowl, which broke into five pieces. Everyone paused, fearing for the young man as the military leader was known to possess a quick, harsh temper. Then one of the guests improvised a comic poem about the incident, provoking laughter all around and restoring the leader to good spirits. This story goes on to say that instead of the break diminishing the bowl's appeal, a new sense of its vitality and resilience raised appreciation to even greater heights. The true life of the bowl began the moment it was dropped."
"Here let me show you..."
"We are going to use a gold liquid to create a new piece of pottery, from these broken pieces. These new pottery pieces are going to become more beautiful... having been broken." Hunter explains.
He is able to start the process one-handed, though it is difficult and slow-going. But since he wants to show Jim the process, going slow is fine with him.
"The story is... there was a bowl that was much loved by a military ruler. One day during a gathering, a servant accidentally dropped the bowl, which broke into five pieces. Everyone paused, fearing for the young man as the military leader was known to possess a quick, harsh temper. Then one of the guests improvised a comic poem about the incident, provoking laughter all around and restoring the leader to good spirits. This story goes on to say that instead of the break diminishing the bowl's appeal, a new sense of its vitality and resilience raised appreciation to even greater heights. The true life of the bowl began the moment it was dropped."
Edited 2017-12-24 15:33 (UTC)
Jim puts the apron on without hesitation, trusting Hunter despite his confusion, and reaches out to help hold the pieces in place when the other man begins to work. And the more Hunter explains, the deeper his words wind his way into the cracks of Jim's own heart.
More beautiful because it was broken... it's not something Jim has ever heard.
He's not sure how to feel about that, struggling to even identify the nagging doubts and turmoil within him, years upon years of hiding away his own brokenness telling him not to let anyone see, to keep it to himself, to put on the happy face and smile, smile, smile, pretend nothing is wrong, nothing was ever wrong, and if it was then it's nobody business but Jim Kirk's.
But now it's not. Hunter knows. Not all of it, not anywhere close, but he's seen the darkness and didn't flinch, didn't run. Poured all his efforts into making sure that for once in a very long time, Hanukkah actually meant something to Jim, not just another week on the calendar, like the years where he didn't even bother to light candles or reflect on anything, or the years where he went through the motions anyway and felt nothing.
He's quiet as Hunter speaks, and continues for several moments after he stops, unsure what to say. "And that... doesn't make it less useful?"
More beautiful because it was broken... it's not something Jim has ever heard.
He's not sure how to feel about that, struggling to even identify the nagging doubts and turmoil within him, years upon years of hiding away his own brokenness telling him not to let anyone see, to keep it to himself, to put on the happy face and smile, smile, smile, pretend nothing is wrong, nothing was ever wrong, and if it was then it's nobody business but Jim Kirk's.
But now it's not. Hunter knows. Not all of it, not anywhere close, but he's seen the darkness and didn't flinch, didn't run. Poured all his efforts into making sure that for once in a very long time, Hanukkah actually meant something to Jim, not just another week on the calendar, like the years where he didn't even bother to light candles or reflect on anything, or the years where he went through the motions anyway and felt nothing.
He's quiet as Hunter speaks, and continues for several moments after he stops, unsure what to say. "And that... doesn't make it less useful?"
"No. It doesn't make it less useful." Hunter continues to use the gold lacquer to reconnect the broken pieces of what used to be a pottery bowl. Jim can see that it is slowly becoming a bowl once again. Just with the cracks highlighted, instead of hidden.
"The practice is related to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, which calls for seeing beauty in the flawed or imperfect. The repair method was also born from the Japanese feeling of mottainai, which expresses regret when something is wasted, as well as mushin, the acceptance of change."
"Our lives take us down many different paths. It is import to remember that we can adapt and change. And even during times when we feel broken... that we are only closer to finding our true identity." Hunter looks up to meet Jim's eyes with his own. "We become stronger because of the breakage. We find a way to overcome."
"The practice is related to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, which calls for seeing beauty in the flawed or imperfect. The repair method was also born from the Japanese feeling of mottainai, which expresses regret when something is wasted, as well as mushin, the acceptance of change."
"Our lives take us down many different paths. It is import to remember that we can adapt and change. And even during times when we feel broken... that we are only closer to finding our true identity." Hunter looks up to meet Jim's eyes with his own. "We become stronger because of the breakage. We find a way to overcome."
Jim is a guy who can appreciate subtlety and metaphor, even if he's not exactly the best person to actually use it himself. Hunter's gift to him today may be a little on the nose, but... the kindness at the heart of the gesture is honest, and he couldn't turn it away, even if he wanted to.
There are a half dozen jokes he could crack to break the strangeness of the moment, but it doesn't seem right to deflect, not again, not when it would do nothing but take away from the thoughtfulness that Hunter has put into all of this. "You've done a lot of research on this," he says instead, watching the bowl take shape in their hands, its sharp broken edges covered up by the gold lacquer holding the pieces together.
There are a half dozen jokes he could crack to break the strangeness of the moment, but it doesn't seem right to deflect, not again, not when it would do nothing but take away from the thoughtfulness that Hunter has put into all of this. "You've done a lot of research on this," he says instead, watching the bowl take shape in their hands, its sharp broken edges covered up by the gold lacquer holding the pieces together.
"I have." Hunter smiles. He had put a lot of thought into each of the gifts, and the origami animals that accompanied the notes.
"But there is a little selfishness here... I can do this one-handed." He smiles.
There are another few pieces laying nearby, if Jim wants to start his own project.
"But there is a little selfishness here... I can do this one-handed." He smiles.
There are another few pieces laying nearby, if Jim wants to start his own project.
Jim is quiet a moment, not sure how to respond, old habits and newer impulses conflicting within him. He's spent a long time trying to fix himself alone. By necessity, by choice, it doesn't really matter. He'd thought he was dealing with it all okay, enough to keep going, enough to bury it all as deep as he could and never look at it again. Halloween proved him wrong.
Talking to his older counterpart had helped, secrets shared with the one person he feels he can truly trust with anything, their differences only casting greater clarity on what he'd done and seen and felt, a shared pain with the only one who would truly understand.
But now even the other captain has gone silent. And Jim has missed being around other people, people who know him and don't want to drive the knife deeper, like so many strangers do this time of year. People who care about James Tiberius Kirk, not the Kelvin baby, not George Kirk's son. Someone who has seen the brokenness inside of him and, instead of sweeping away the pieces, wants to find a way to fit them together again. Not exactly as it was before, scarred and patchwork, forever marked by the shattering, but whole.
"You can do it alone," he says at last, lifting his gaze to meet Hunter's, "but you shouldn't have to."
Talking to his older counterpart had helped, secrets shared with the one person he feels he can truly trust with anything, their differences only casting greater clarity on what he'd done and seen and felt, a shared pain with the only one who would truly understand.
But now even the other captain has gone silent. And Jim has missed being around other people, people who know him and don't want to drive the knife deeper, like so many strangers do this time of year. People who care about James Tiberius Kirk, not the Kelvin baby, not George Kirk's son. Someone who has seen the brokenness inside of him and, instead of sweeping away the pieces, wants to find a way to fit them together again. Not exactly as it was before, scarred and patchwork, forever marked by the shattering, but whole.
"You can do it alone," he says at last, lifting his gaze to meet Hunter's, "but you shouldn't have to."
Edited 2017-12-29 13:49 (UTC)
Hunter nods. And pauses in his work to reach out to Jim and gently squeeze the other man's hand. "That is why I am glad I have support from my friends, and from you."
"I would have never been able to repair the apartment, like you guys did. You all took what was broken and made it beautiful again."
"I would have never been able to repair the apartment, like you guys did. You all took what was broken and made it beautiful again."
Jim's smile is faint, but real, and he squeezes Hunter's hand back. "It was a group effort." Home should always feel like a safe place. He knows, far too intimately, how it feels to have someone rip that away. But as the Enterprise has been slowly rebuilt and refitted under the watchful eye of Starfleet's Corps of Engineers, Jim wanted Hunter's apartment to experience that same kind of healing, creating something new from the ashes of what was destroyed.
After a moment, he adds, "There's a famous novel from the twenty-second century that revolves around the phrase 'let me help.' The author recommends those three little words, even over 'I love you.'"
After a moment, he adds, "There's a famous novel from the twenty-second century that revolves around the phrase 'let me help.' The author recommends those three little words, even over 'I love you.'"
"I was honestly afraid of coming back to this place... especially coming back alone. But you all helped me face my fears." Hunter reveals.
Hunter smiles, giving Jim's hand another squeeze. "I am so grateful for your help."
Hunter smiles, giving Jim's hand another squeeze. "I am so grateful for your help."
Jim holds Hunter's hand in his own, just glad to have this contact, no matter what horrible shit this year has put them through, together and separately. "It's all I want." Whatever he can do to help, whether it's as big as fixing up the apartment, or as small as helping put pottery back together, one piece at a time.
Tonight, Jim's PINpoint chimes softly. And a medium-sized gold gift box appears in Jim's apartment.
There is a note attached.
Don't worry. I am not going to make you wait two days to unwrap this gift. It is just a little preview of what is to come. Love Hunter
Inside the gift is a black T-shirt, in Jim's size.
There is a note attached.
Don't worry. I am not going to make you wait two days to unwrap this gift. It is just a little preview of what is to come. Love Hunter
Inside the gift is a black T-shirt, in Jim's size.
Every since Jim left for his five-year mission, he has received a weekly package from Hunter PINpointed to him.
Most of the time, the package would include a letter, providing a small update about Hunter's life. He would write to Jim about changes and growth for the Foundation, or about a new artist he discovered, or just about some of the new people that have arrived in the Nexus recently.
Often, the package would include a sketch, that would briefly come alive with the blessing of Hunter's magical ability. His sketches were of people they both knew, or of the Nexus in general, or some bustling area of New York city.
And there were a few times when the package would include a poem, or a note from Hermione, or a audio tape of Hunter trying to re-learn the guitar.
In the most recent package, the first thing Jim might notice is a very detailed sketch of Natasha, like she is leaning over Hunter, and studying him carefully. The thing about this sketch is that it does not move. It is just a sketch.
As Jim reads the letter inside the package, he will learn about Hunter losing his magical ability. About Natasha shaving off his hair. About Faris and Hunter learning how it happened, and the mystery of the young girl who looked like Kendra.
Hunter admits he still doesn't feel like himself yet. And the search continues for answers. But at least, he knows his friends are always there for him.
Most of the time, the package would include a letter, providing a small update about Hunter's life. He would write to Jim about changes and growth for the Foundation, or about a new artist he discovered, or just about some of the new people that have arrived in the Nexus recently.
Often, the package would include a sketch, that would briefly come alive with the blessing of Hunter's magical ability. His sketches were of people they both knew, or of the Nexus in general, or some bustling area of New York city.
And there were a few times when the package would include a poem, or a note from Hermione, or a audio tape of Hunter trying to re-learn the guitar.
In the most recent package, the first thing Jim might notice is a very detailed sketch of Natasha, like she is leaning over Hunter, and studying him carefully. The thing about this sketch is that it does not move. It is just a sketch.
As Jim reads the letter inside the package, he will learn about Hunter losing his magical ability. About Natasha shaving off his hair. About Faris and Hunter learning how it happened, and the mystery of the young girl who looked like Kendra.
Hunter admits he still doesn't feel like himself yet. And the search continues for answers. But at least, he knows his friends are always there for him.
Edited 2018-07-01 02:59 (UTC)
Jim still receives letters and packages from Hunter once a week. There have not been any dire updates in over a month. But recently something had happened, that Hunter needs to tell Jim about.
The package waiting Jim contains a iPad, and there is only one video on the main screen, that contains the words 'Play Me Please' on it.
When the video comes to life, it is Hunter sitting on his bed. He smiles at the camera. "Hi Jim."
"I thought that since it had been a while since we 'saw' each other, that this might be a nice way to send you a little update on my life." He chuckles.
"I wanted you to know that I have decided to take a little road trip. It is starting to drive me a little crazy that I can't go to the Foundation, or to my Art Gallery. Well... I can go there... but they don't recognize me. And I can not be as involved with either project as I was. The free time is getting to be a little frustrating." Hunter sighs. "I want to do something."
"So after a recent conversation with Faris and Chanath, I decided to take advantage of the end of summer and visit as many of the national parks that are located around the States as I can. Get on my bike and exploring the back country. And just... get out of the apartment for a bit."
"So for the next little while... send your letters to my PINpoint."
Hunter runs his left hand through his hair. There is ink visible on his forearm. And he smiles, holding out his left forearm to the camera. "I got a little piece of who I was with the magic back. The tattoo artist was really great. He took the time to study my drawing, and speak with me, and make sure that the finished project was what I wanted."
"I'm..." Hunter runs a hand through his hair. "I really don't know if I will ever get my magic back. And I am starting to feel a little scared by the thought of it. I guess I am really starting to miss that piece of myself."
"I feel lost without it." He wipes away a stray tear from his eyes. And tries to calm himself with a deep breath.
"I know her name now. Kendra's sister. It is Karlene." Hunter looks back at the camera. "I had a dream, that led me to her. She was in trouble. Three men were about to attack her. And I... I had to protect her."
"I got stabbed Jim." He admits. And frowns.
"Karlene used her magic -- my magic -- to heal me. But I could feel the pain of being changed again. And I told her to stop. She still has no control."
"I told her that I could help her. Get her to someone who could teach her. But she just... ran away again." Hunter sighs.
"And so... I just don't know if I will ever get that magic back. And I thought I was okay with it. But I really am not. I feel all out of sorts."
"I think getting away from the city for a bit will be good for me."
Hunter moves off his bed, and grabs his guitar, before sitting back down. He smiles at the camera. And then plays and sings to I'm Gonna Be.
At the end of the song, he smiles again. "Love you Jim." And turns off the camera.
The package waiting Jim contains a iPad, and there is only one video on the main screen, that contains the words 'Play Me Please' on it.
When the video comes to life, it is Hunter sitting on his bed. He smiles at the camera. "Hi Jim."
"I thought that since it had been a while since we 'saw' each other, that this might be a nice way to send you a little update on my life." He chuckles.
"I wanted you to know that I have decided to take a little road trip. It is starting to drive me a little crazy that I can't go to the Foundation, or to my Art Gallery. Well... I can go there... but they don't recognize me. And I can not be as involved with either project as I was. The free time is getting to be a little frustrating." Hunter sighs. "I want to do something."
"So after a recent conversation with Faris and Chanath, I decided to take advantage of the end of summer and visit as many of the national parks that are located around the States as I can. Get on my bike and exploring the back country. And just... get out of the apartment for a bit."
"So for the next little while... send your letters to my PINpoint."
Hunter runs his left hand through his hair. There is ink visible on his forearm. And he smiles, holding out his left forearm to the camera. "I got a little piece of who I was with the magic back. The tattoo artist was really great. He took the time to study my drawing, and speak with me, and make sure that the finished project was what I wanted."
"I'm..." Hunter runs a hand through his hair. "I really don't know if I will ever get my magic back. And I am starting to feel a little scared by the thought of it. I guess I am really starting to miss that piece of myself."
"I feel lost without it." He wipes away a stray tear from his eyes. And tries to calm himself with a deep breath.
"I know her name now. Kendra's sister. It is Karlene." Hunter looks back at the camera. "I had a dream, that led me to her. She was in trouble. Three men were about to attack her. And I... I had to protect her."
"I got stabbed Jim." He admits. And frowns.
"Karlene used her magic -- my magic -- to heal me. But I could feel the pain of being changed again. And I told her to stop. She still has no control."
"I told her that I could help her. Get her to someone who could teach her. But she just... ran away again." Hunter sighs.
"And so... I just don't know if I will ever get that magic back. And I thought I was okay with it. But I really am not. I feel all out of sorts."
"I think getting away from the city for a bit will be good for me."
Hunter moves off his bed, and grabs his guitar, before sitting back down. He smiles at the camera. And then plays and sings to I'm Gonna Be.
At the end of the song, he smiles again. "Love you Jim." And turns off the camera.
By now, Jim has gotten used to packages and envelopes mysteriously appearing on his desk in his quarters, heralding one of what's swiftly becoming his favorite way to end the day: catching up on news from Hunter. Even so, this seems unusual from the moment he sees it, and having gotten bad news once already, a twist of anxiety takes root as he begins the playback.
And things start off somewhat benign. Cabin fever, a yearning for the great outdoors, all things Jim can sympathize with. And he smiles a little when Hunter shows off his fresh ink, the markings familiar on an arm that's been looking kinda naked without it.
But then comes the confession, and the smile slides straight off Jim's face. Dammit. He'd hoped that Hunter's casual acceptance of the loss of his magic was honest enough, and it certainly had seemed that way. But maybe it had just needed time to sink in, a looming emptiness slowly encroaching as reality set in. Jim has no idea what that must feel like, but it's a hell of an adjustment to make after so many years.
"Fucking dammit." Stabbed? Jim is already halfway to his PINpoint before hearing that Hunter is already healed, and honestly, it doesn't make him stop considering using it anyway. All of a sudden, his boyfriend going off on his own into back country doesn't sound quite as relaxing as he'd thought. But... what can Jim really do? Lightyears away, in a different universe, he has over four hundred lives to watch after, people relying on him to keep them safe and guide them home. He can't protect Hunter from here, and he can't abandon his responsibilities on the Enterprise either. Especially when he's already too late to help.
That anxiety writhes its way deeper, an odd sort of dread that Hunter's not doing as well as he'd pretended, that something like this might happen again and Jim will be helpless to stop it, or even know about it until it's too late. Hunter is supposed to be safe on Earth, or in the Nexus, living a normal civilian life, away from the same sort of dangers that Jim faces exploring the black. He's not supposed to be the one getting hurt. But he did.
Jim stands frozen in front of his desk, PINpoint held in one hand as he watches the video play out, the almost cheery beat of Hunter's guitar a strange contrast to the nagging guilt and fear tugging at him. And maybe for the first time, Jim begins to realize just how deep he's gotten himself into all this. He never meant to care this much.
But he does.
Even when the video ends and the screen shuts off, Jim remains still and quiet, with no real idea of what to do. What he can do. And it's a long, long few minutes before he finally sends a text message to leap the bounds between their universes, an unfathomably large distance between them.
Got your message. I'm expecting you to give me a tour of the best spots when I get back.
He doesn't sign off like Hunter did, the words suddenly seeming more than just rote response, the thing you're supposed to say when you're dating somebody. It's more real, somehow. Heavier. And he's gonna need a hell of a lot more soul-searching before he's ready to admit it to himself. But there's one thing he can say, and absolutely mean it.
I miss you. Stay safe out there.
And things start off somewhat benign. Cabin fever, a yearning for the great outdoors, all things Jim can sympathize with. And he smiles a little when Hunter shows off his fresh ink, the markings familiar on an arm that's been looking kinda naked without it.
But then comes the confession, and the smile slides straight off Jim's face. Dammit. He'd hoped that Hunter's casual acceptance of the loss of his magic was honest enough, and it certainly had seemed that way. But maybe it had just needed time to sink in, a looming emptiness slowly encroaching as reality set in. Jim has no idea what that must feel like, but it's a hell of an adjustment to make after so many years.
"Fucking dammit." Stabbed? Jim is already halfway to his PINpoint before hearing that Hunter is already healed, and honestly, it doesn't make him stop considering using it anyway. All of a sudden, his boyfriend going off on his own into back country doesn't sound quite as relaxing as he'd thought. But... what can Jim really do? Lightyears away, in a different universe, he has over four hundred lives to watch after, people relying on him to keep them safe and guide them home. He can't protect Hunter from here, and he can't abandon his responsibilities on the Enterprise either. Especially when he's already too late to help.
That anxiety writhes its way deeper, an odd sort of dread that Hunter's not doing as well as he'd pretended, that something like this might happen again and Jim will be helpless to stop it, or even know about it until it's too late. Hunter is supposed to be safe on Earth, or in the Nexus, living a normal civilian life, away from the same sort of dangers that Jim faces exploring the black. He's not supposed to be the one getting hurt. But he did.
Jim stands frozen in front of his desk, PINpoint held in one hand as he watches the video play out, the almost cheery beat of Hunter's guitar a strange contrast to the nagging guilt and fear tugging at him. And maybe for the first time, Jim begins to realize just how deep he's gotten himself into all this. He never meant to care this much.
But he does.
Even when the video ends and the screen shuts off, Jim remains still and quiet, with no real idea of what to do. What he can do. And it's a long, long few minutes before he finally sends a text message to leap the bounds between their universes, an unfathomably large distance between them.
Got your message. I'm expecting you to give me a tour of the best spots when I get back.
He doesn't sign off like Hunter did, the words suddenly seeming more than just rote response, the thing you're supposed to say when you're dating somebody. It's more real, somehow. Heavier. And he's gonna need a hell of a lot more soul-searching before he's ready to admit it to himself. But there's one thing he can say, and absolutely mean it.
I miss you. Stay safe out there.
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